Fiasco: Alison Haislip, Bonnie Burton, and John Rogers join Wil on TableTop

Most gamers from my generation were introduced to role-playing games through Dungeons and Dragons or GURPS. These are really great systems that allow a dungeon master or game master to take players through a campaign that can last a decade or longer. Well, recently independent game designers have developed systems that can be played in just a couple of hours. And they have a focus on storytelling instead of rolling dice. Today on TableTop, John Rogers, Alison Haislip, and Bonnie Burton are here to help me to tell a story that could have come right out of a Coen brothers movie.

All of our characters will have high ambitions and a very poor impulse control. Things are about to go horribly awry for us, because this is going to be a fiasco. Inspired by movies like Fargo, Burn After Reading, and A Simple Plan, Fiasco lets players tell stories that exist at the darkly comic intersection of lust, greed, and fear. Now, unlike traditional role-playing games where dice are only rolled for combat, the dice in Fiasco are used to establish relationships, needs, and the object and locations that are important to us. Fiasco is a story told in two acts.

In Act One, we will all make a bunch of very big plans. Then at the end of Act One, we will roll on the Tilt Table. The Tilt Table introduces two unexpected elements that are going to really mess with all of us. In Act Two, we will watch our plans slowly and surely unravel. Then at the very end, we will roll on the Aftermath Table to find out exactly how badly things went for our characters.

Today, we are playing a Fiasco playset that I co-wrote with Will Hindmarch and Jason Morningstar.

It’s called Saturday Night 78. This is a time of rock and disco, of reckless hedonism and casual sex, a time before there were consequences. Oh yes, this is going to be one hell of a fiasco. JOHN ROGERS: My name is John Rogers.

I am a screenwriter. I currently run the TV show Leverage on TNT. BONNIE BURTON: My name is Bonnie Burton. And I’m a writer. Primarily, I do nonfiction kids books, including The Star Wars Craft Book.

ALISON HAISLIP: I’m Alison Haislip. I’m an actor. I’m currently on Hulu’s first original series Battleground. WIL WHEATON: Normally when you play Fiasco, you spend about 45 minutes setting up the story. You define your character relationships.

We choose where things are going to happen. And we get a sense of what the story’s going to be. We did that. And it’s a separate episode, because, well, it’s a separate episode. So instead of going through that right now, we will tell you the resolution of our setup.

And then our fiasco will begin. My character’s name is Marty Spano. I am a mid-level film director. And I’m on my way to Hollywood.

I have a criminal relationship with Alison’s character.

Bonnie and I have a director and starlet relationship. We’ve decided that I’m probably trying to get her to go to Hollywood with me. BONNIE BURTON: So I’m Lily Anastasia. I started at the club called Glamorous, which is owned by Eddie O’Malley. The relationship with Betty and I is undetermined.

But it could get interesting very quickly. We have something misplaced as well, which will come up. Should I go ahead and say? WIL WHEATON: Mm-hmm. BONNIE BURTON: Keys to the club are in an eight-track that’s been misplaced.

WIL WHEATON: So Fiasco nerds, their object is category, misplaced. Detail, keys to the club. BONNIE BURTON: Right. But my main motivation in all this is I need to get even. Now it may mean with characters, all of the characters.

And it could also be just with the world, because as a starlet we have issues, as most starlets do. WIL WHEATON: Oh, I’ve worked with you.

BONNIE BURTON: Yes. Yes. I’m going to be very manipulative and get what I want all the time.

WIL WHEATON: Oh, I dated you! BONNIE BURTON: Yes. WIL WHEATON: OK. Great. John, go ahead.

JOHN ROGERS: I’m playing Eddie O’Malley. Eddie O’Malley opened a club. Got a lot of financial backers as one of the waitresses he plucked out of obscurity became the central club kid celebrity of the club. And now that she’s leaving, his club is in financial problems.

My relationship with Lily is rivalry, subrelationship, contenders for the same heart, which is why things should get interesting.

And my relationship with Alison’s character Betty, is that we were formerly married, a romance estranged, and we hate it. We still have a lot of strong feelings for each other. But we’re not together. ALISON HAISLIP: I am Betty Capozzi, new divorcee, obviously. And I am down on my luck because of that, which is why I have taken up a new life of crime with Marty Spano.

But this whole thing is taking place the last night of a club called Glamour, your club. That’s what we know. WIL WHEATON: And this is where our fiasco is going to happen.

JOHN ROGERS: Wil, you have to choose to either set up the situation or resolve the situation. WIL WHEATON: Right.

JOHN ROGERS: I will establish, it’s the morning of the last night. So we tighten up the time frame. WIL WHEATON: Great. Great. JOHN ROGERS: And it is arguing with Lily.

You know, I’m a game design geek as a hobby, besides TV writing. So I really admire the fact they managed to break story gaming on a really fundamental level. I’ve never seen somebody have a bad game of Fiasco. Let’s put it that way. Now because I’ve only done this a few times, you have to set the goals for the argument?

You can start in? WIL WHEATON: No. You’re just having an argument. And then we’ll figure out, if the argument’s going to go well for you, then you’ll get a white die. And if it’s going to go poorly for you, then you’re going to get a red die.

I would encourage you to flex those writer muscles. JOHN ROGERS: Yes. This is not– my entire writing staff will watch this and go, oh, that was lame.

That was not strong. We should kill him and seize control of the writing room.

All right. Morning. Interior. The exterior of club Glamorous is up in the East Side. In the morning, it looks horrible, as all night clubs do in the morning.

WIL WHEATON: Yes. JOHN ROGERS: As you sort of push in through the doors and up the stairs, the stairs that are a complete fire trap, all the way up into the club. And the club itself is three different floors. It’s the main dance floor, which is all mirrored. And the mirrors actually rotate to reveal neon tubes on alternating sides.

ALISON HAISLIP: When John started out the game by doing exterior, outside a seedy nightclub, or whatever it is and then described the whole club, I was like, oh. We are going for it.

JOHN ROGERS: And then off that, little private rooms where a man can do a bit of business. WIL WHEATON: That is an evocative setting. JOHN ROGERS: Exactly.

It’s at the bar. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, OK. Great. JOHN ROGERS: And it’s like, you know what I want? I want you to not go.

I want you to bring that guy tonight. And I’m going to have a word with him. And you’re going to see that he is basically hot air, all right? Marty Spano is a guy from frickin’ Jersey who is lying to you and is going to blow this great thing we have.

BONNIE BURTON: Mmm.

JOHN ROGERS: So why are you doing this to me? BONNIE BURTON: Eddie, I am pretty sure I’m the talent in this whole scenario. So you should be glad I was here in the beginning. I could have left at any time. But Marty saw something special in me, something you’ve never seen before.

All you got going on is some tables to snort coke off of. And you just let everything illegal happen. I’m the bright, shining star. JOHN ROGERS: Everything illegal? Everything illegal happen?

What, you think when you were shaking your ass on the dance floor that none of that stuff was going on? You’re just in this with me, exactly in this with me.

Listen, just get him here tonight so I can have a word with him. And I’ll tell you what. If I believe him, if he seems like a straight guy– because I tell you what, Lily.

I sound angry. I’m not angry. I’m trying to take care of you. Trying to take care of you. Just try to get Marty here tonight.

BONNIE BURTON: That’s funny, Eddie, because I’m trying to take care of me too. So this is what this is going to go down. I’m going to do a great last night for the club. This isn’t the last night of Glamour. This last night of me.

And I’m leaving and becoming a star. And you’re just going to be on the sidelines like you always are, Eddie. JOHN ROGERS: Just let me have words with him, OK? I’ve been taking care of you for five years.

Let me just have a little chat with the guy.

BONNIE BURTON: I want you to meet Marty. He’s a classy guy. Maybe you’ll learn something. JOHN ROGERS: All right. Good.

Fine. WIL WHEATON: Scene. Awesome. ALISON HAISLIP: Nice. WIL WHEATON: It was great.

No, It’s great. BONNIE BURTON: I don’t really know what the hospital was like where I was born in Kansas. But I have a feeling someone shipped in a disco ball, and then I was born, spotlight, and then someone threw glitter. WIL WHEATON: So it actually goes pretty well for you. JOHN ROGERS: Yes.

I got what I wanted. WIL WHEATON: You got what you want. JOHN ROGERS: I wanted you in my club. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, yeah. JOHN ROGERS: The read of that scene was for Eddie to figure out how tightly Lily was tied to him and whether he would have to find some other way to get Marty to the club.

WIL WHEATON: All right. So now, because it’s Act One, you’re going to give that die away. You can give it to one of the three of us.

It doesn’t really matter. JOHN ROGERS: I will give that to Lily, because it’s her first time in Fiasco.

BONNIE BURTON: That was the first time. JOHN ROGERS: There you go. BONNIE BURTON: Just the set-up alone felt like speed dating to me. That’s how women think, by the way. When we’re speed dating, guys just think of one thing.

We’ve named our children or we’ve figured out what dumpster we’re going to put ’em in. Well, maybe that’s just me. ALISON HAISLIP: I think we should establish what you and I are planning on doing tonight. WIL WHEATON: OK. ALISON HAISLIP: Yeah?

WIL WHEATON: Where do you want the scene to happen? ALISON HAISLIP: You are over at my place. WIL WHEATON: OK. ALISON HAISLIP: My tiny run-down studio apartment, trying to come up with this plot for tonight. WIL WHEATON: OK.

ALISON HAISLIP: So Marty, I really just don’t understand what we’re trying to do with this club right now.

WIL WHEATON: [SNIFFING] ALISON HAISLIP: Obviously. BONNIE BURTON: Oh. ALISON HAISLIP: You better wash that afterwards. WIL WHEATON: I’ll get it later.

Listen. Your husband’s club– ALISON HAISLIP: Ex. Ex-husband. Let’s not forget that. WIL WHEATON: All right.

Your ex-husband’s club– ALISON HAISLIP: Yeah. Bastard. WIL WHEATON: –is the nexus point for every big deal that happens in the Upper East Side. ALISON HAISLIP: That’s not true. WIL WHEATON: Everybody goes there.

It’s totally true. ALISON HAISLIP: Really? WIL WHEATON: Yeah. Take off your sunglasses, honey. We’re inside.

Everybody knows that. We go there tonight. It’s the last night of the club. People are going to be in there trying to get one last big score. All we gotta do is walk out of there with a couple of items, we have enough to get set up in Hollywood.

ALISON HAISLIP: Wait. Marty, are you taking me out of this awful life? Are you taking me out of this hellhole? WIL WHEATON: Sure, baby. ALISON HAISLIP: Yeah?

WIL WHEATON: Yeah. We’re going to LA.

ALISON HAISLIP: And all we gotta do is walk into this club and walk out with money and drugs? WIL WHEATON: This is going to be easy, sweetheart. We’re going to go in there.

You’re going to get everybody’s attention. They’re going to think you’re beautiful. I’m going to work a little bit of my magic on Lily Anastasia. ALISON HAISLIP: I hate that bitch. WIL WHEATON: And by tomorrow morning, we are in the first class lounge at Pan Am at JFK.

ALISON HAISLIP: Yeah? I’ve never even flown before. WIL WHEATON: You’re gonna love it, kid. ALISON HAISLIP: Yeah? WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

ALISON HAISLIP: All right. Let’s do this. WIL WHEATON: Scene. JOHN ROGERS: All right. Even though you got what you wanted, I gave you the bad one, because that was a really bad idea for you to buy that lie.

WIL WHEATON: Marty doesn’t care who he takes to Hollywood, as long as that person gets him there. JOHN ROGERS: So you give that to somebody else now.

ALISON HAISLIP: All right. Well, I will give it to you, because you’re obviously lying to me. WIL WHEATON: All right.

BONNIE BURTON: And don’t fall for it, sister. ALISON HAISLIP: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: And by the way, my coffee all over the world is why drugs are bad. BONNIE BURTON: Yes. Yes.

JOHN ROGERS: Remember that, kids, even though we joke about drugs. WIL WHEATON: This is Marty having lunch with Lily Anastasia after– JOHN ROGERS: Yep. WIL WHEATON: Same day. All right. He has left the Lower East Side, and he’s on his way up.

And we’re having lunch at a place that he can’t really afford. He’s trying to find out what’s going on at the club tonight. BONNIE BURTON: All right. WIL WHEATON: OK. I’ve got some very, very good news for you.

BONNIE BURTON: Let’s hear it. WIL WHEATON: I was on the phone with Bob Evans yesterday. BONNIE BURTON: Yeah? WIL WHEATON: He’s giving me a two-picture deal. And I get to choose my cast.

Sweetheart– BONNIE BURTON: Really? WIL WHEATON: –I want to make you the star that you deserve to be. BONNIE BURTON: What kind of movie we talking? Bob Evans is all over the place. WIL WHEATON: It’s a quiet, romantic picture.

BONNIE BURTON: So clothes, no clothes? WIL WHEATON: That’s up to Mr. Evans. I understand that you’re very attached to your job at the club. Is that going to be a problem?

BONNIE BURTON: The umbilical cord’s been cut for a long time. I’m not attached to him in any way. WIL WHEATON: Yeah? BONNIE BURTON: Yeah. Why not?

I’ve been wanting to go to Hollywood ever since I saw that sign. This is just small potatoes. That club’s going downhill fast. It’s the last night anyway. So let’s do this.

WIL WHEATON: Whoa. Wait. It’s the last night of the club? BONNIE BURTON: Soon as I leave, the club’s gone. WIL WHEATON: That goes to me.

[LAUGHTER] BONNIE BURTON: This is why I like you. WIL WHEATON: Can you get me past the rope tonight? BONNIE BURTON: Honey, I can get you past anything tonight. WIL WHEATON: Take me upstairs? BONNIE BURTON: If you say it, we do it.

WIL WHEATON: You’ll get me all the way to the top floor? BONNIE BURTON: If you want. Can you handle it, though? WIL WHEATON: I can handle it.

BONNIE BURTON: The top floor?

‘Cause that’s where the lights are the brightest. WIL WHEATON: Start writing your acceptance speech, honey. BONNIE BURTON: I already did. ALISON HAISLIP: That was unreal. JOHN ROGERS: Crazy.

BONNIE BURTON: Everybody I get into the club has some sort of purpose for me. And I want to make sure that all my pawns are in place. I don’t want any wild cards. You realize I’ve been having this conversation in my head since I was 12. So this is– So I’m kind of thinking for establishing scene, that I go where you work, which may be another club.

And I want to get you over to the other club for a possible audition to replace me. ALISON HAISLIP: Oh. BONNIE BURTON: Maybe? ALISON HAISLIP: Would I audition at my ex-husband’s club? BONNIE BURTON: That’s the big question.

ALISON HAISLIP: Yeah. BONNIE BURTON: Because you want in that club tonight. ALISON HAISLIP: Yeah. BONNIE BURTON: You hate your ex-husband, but you have to get in that club tonight or else this plan isn’t going to work. WIL WHEATON: Are you cool with that?

You work at a club? BONNIE BURTON: Is that too– WIL WHEATON: No. That’s great. ALISON HAISLIP: So I’m working my day job. JOHN ROGERS: Ooh.

Where do people dance during the day? WIL WHEATON: Oh, god. You’re at a peep show in Times Square. ALISON HAISLIP: I’m dancing? WIL WHEATON: You’re at a peep show in Times Square.

That’s a horrible– BONNIE BURTON: Dead eyes. [LAUGHTER] BONNIE BURTON: Where’s my seat? JOHN ROGERS: You do that really well. WIL WHEATON: I was pretty surprised that Betty is working in a peep show. And it makes her character even more tragic than she already is.

The dead eyes really say everything. ALISON HAISLIP: Wow. OK. Now I’m in a strip club. I wasn’t expecting that.

BONNIE BURTON: So I’m waiting. And you don’t know that I’m on the other end. And so it rises up. ALISON HAISLIP: Lily? What are you doing here?

BONNIE BURTON: How’s it going, Betty? Like your day job lately? ALISON HAISLIP: Lily, close it. BONNIE BURTON: I got plenty of quarters to talk. ALISON HAISLIP: Lily!

This is embarrassing, OK? BONNIE BURTON: This is a business meeting, baby. ALISON HAISLIP: Business? What kind of business do you have with me? BONNIE BURTON: I have the best club in New York.

ALISON HAISLIP: Yeah. And you have my husband, bitch. BONNIE BURTON: Ex-husband. And you can have him back. But I think you want something a little bit more than your ex-husband.

I think you want to have power over your ex-husband. Am I right? ALISON HAISLIP: Keep talking. Put another quarter in, Lily. Keep talking.

BONNIE BURTON: You know, you’re a cute kid.

And I think you can go far. But you’re not going to go far in this box. And you need an audience. And I can give you that audience.

I can give you lights. I can give you costumes. All you have to do is say yes. ALISON HAISLIP: Maybe. How are you going to do this?

BONNIE BURTON: Come to the club tonight. We’ll do a dry run. ALISON HAISLIP: You want me to come to Eddie’s club tonight? Are you crazy? BONNIE BURTON: Eddie’s got bigger problems.

He’s going to be focused on me and mad at me. You’re going to be just a little bypass. And that’s all it is. Show up. Do your dance.

Everyone’s going to be watching you. And I’ll make sure they’re watching you. ALISON HAISLIP: I could never be a little bypass to Eddie. BONNIE BURTON: Well, he’s been on a freeway of damage control for a while. And I think pretty much all he’s concerned about is keeping the club open at all costs, even if his ex-wife is under the disco ball.

ALISON HAISLIP: So you can get me in, no trouble? BONNIE BURTON: No trouble. I own that club. I own everyone in it. ALISON HAISLIP: You can get me that job?

BONNIE BURTON: Get you that job. All you do is show up, look pretty, shake your thing.

And if you make Eddie mad, that’s just a bonus. ALISON HAISLIP: I like what I’m hearing. JOHN ROGERS: You have to give that die away.

That was great, by the way. WIL WHEATON: That was such a great scene. Oh my god. You’re such a terrible person. Oh.

JOHN ROGERS: What is she going to do to get everybody’s attention on– oh. ALISON HAISLIP: Well, I’m thinking that I think she stole my husband. But in reality, she was spending so much time with us to break us up. JOHN ROGERS: Yes. So you have to give that die.

WIL WHEATON: You’ve got to give that die away. BONNIE BURTON: I’m giving it to you.

I want to see what you do. ALISON HAISLIP: Oh. Bonnie sure did go for it.

She’s turning the tides. I think that Betty is naive enough to fall for it. WIL WHEATON: John, you are now in the spotlight. JOHN ROGERS: And I’m dice-less. WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

JOHN ROGERS: OK. I need a goombah, because I want to establish why it’s the last night, just because she’s leaving. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I’ll be that guy. JOHN ROGERS: All right. Good. WIL WHEATON: I’ll be the goombah.

JOHN ROGERS: He’s unknowingly just blocks from where this is happening.

He’s literally on the next block. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. JOHN ROGERS: And he’s meeting with Norman Callahan, who is a guy who does jobs. WIL WHEATON: OK. JOHN ROGERS: OK?

WIL WHEATON: All right. JOHN ROGERS: So Marty, I’ve got a problem, OK? WIL WHEATON: You got a lot of problems, Eddie.

JOHN ROGERS: I got a lot of problems, I know. And I get that.

I get that a lot of people are angry with me right now. And I’m losing Lily. And I know that people are really angry about that. But I’ve got a way to settle this, OK? WIL WHEATON: Listen, Eddie.

I got two things from you. I got a lot of paper. And I got a lot of empty promises. JOHN ROGERS: Here’s what we’re going to do tonight, OK? It’s the biggest night.

We’ve said it’s Lily’s farewell. Everyone’s going to be there. There’s going to be a lot action in the upstairs room. This is what I’m thinking. A little fire.

Fire. Lot of panic. Lot of people running around.

While that panic’s going on, I clean out those upstairs rooms. All that stuff goes straight to you.

That’ll settle up my paper. I can rebuild the club, declare bankruptcy because of the fire. I lose Lily. That’s OK. She was the old club.

I get a little new talent. But it’s up to you how you want to do this. Do you want to help me out here or am I on my own? WIL WHEATON: I’m going to need a lot– this is big, Eddie. JOHN ROGERS: I know.

I know. I’m just asking you. Can you give me a torch, or am I setting this on my own? If you give me the torch, I’ll throw in an extra $10,000 off the top, on top of my debts.

That’s a little high for settling it– $5,000.

WIL WHEATON: Make it $10,000. JOHN ROGERS: All right. And you automatically get 25% of the next club. I just don’t want to set the fire myself. I’ve never done this before.

I don’t know how to control it. Your guys know how to do it. WIL WHEATON: Eddie, I can give you the materials. But what you’ve shown me is that you lack commitment. You’ve got a lot of drive, but you never see any race to finish.

You take care of this, I’ll know that your committed to seeing this next club all the way through.

And by this time next year, we’re in Midtown. JOHN ROGERS: Sunday morning, I show up with a briefcase full of whatever I can get out of there. It’s all yours for doing this for me. Thank you.

That was such a bad ending for him. You’ve just given a guy with no knowledge of arson arson materials? ALISON HAISLIP: I was more concerned about the fact that you were like, fine. You get $10,000 and 25% of the new club. I was like, he wasn’t asking for anything else.

You just gave up more! WIL WHEATON: Eddie’s desperate. JOHN ROGERS: Eddie’s desperate. I think Eddie is in way over his head.

I think Eddie really tried to seriously go legit.

He’s from a crime family and tried to run numbers, run a little money through. It’s a place where you could do business. But you try to keep that restaurant, that club clean. And that just failed on him. If anything, it’s just reinforced him that he might as well go back in the hold of the mob.

I mean, why not? That’s where it’s safe. They’ll take care of you. I had to give a reason it was the last night. Lily wasn’t the only reason.

Lily’s the excuse. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. JOHN ROGERS: You know what. You’re going to hell. Take that.

ALISON HAISLIP: Oh! BONNIE BURTON: Ooh. WIL WHEATON: No, Marty! Oh, oh, oh! ALISON HAISLIP: I’m going to do a resolve.

Is that what you call it? I’m going to resolve to get a white die, I guess. WIL WHEATON: OK. JOHN ROGERS: OK. That seemed to go well for you.

WIL WHEATON: So you’re going to get a good– a good thing is going to happen for you. All right? So the last time we saw Betty, she was dancing at her terrible day job. ALISON HAISLIP: Dead eyes. WIL WHEATON: Dead eyes.

ALISON HAISLIP: What if it’s between you and I and we realize we now both have ins at the club? JOHN ROGERS: And we know that ends well. WIL WHEATON: And we know that ends well. Yeah. That’s great.

That’s great. OK. So let’s put this scene– JOHN ROGERS: Fish market nearby. You need nearby so you seem to go in separately, but you’ve got to coordinate. WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

Yeah. JOHN ROGERS: You’ve got to coordinate the plan. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. That’s great. BONNIE BURTON: Is it kind of like Double Indemnity when they’re meeting at the grocery store to talk so no one knows they’re together so they can talk?

WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

JOHN ROGERS: We know it goes well, so you come up with a plan. But now you guys have to come up with the plan. BONNIE BURTON: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: Yeah.

OK. Great. Great. Great. All right.

It’s late that afternoon. And so you’ve got that like it’s magic hour in the fish market. OK? ALISON HAISLIP: Magic hour at the fist market. WIL WHEATON: That magic hour light is on the scales of all the fish and in the ice.

BONNIE BURTON: Like the disco ball. WIL WHEATON: So it looks like– Fish market’s OK. Fish market at magic hour is awesome. So walking through the fish market. ALISON HAISLIP: So did you get in?

WIL WHEATON: I’m in. ALISON HAISLIP: You’re in. WIL WHEATON: I’m in. ALISON HAISLIP: Me too. We’re both in.

WIL WHEATON: Well, then this is– ALISON HAISLIP: This is going to happen. WIL WHEATON: This is good news. ALISON HAISLIP: We’re going to make this happen. WIL WHEATON: We’re going to Hollywood. ALISON HAISLIP: God, we’re going to Hollywood.

WIL WHEATON: Listen.

I have a pass to the top floor. ALISON HAISLIP: OK. I think I can keep their eyes off you. WIL WHEATON: Well, that’s what I’m counting on.

ALISON HAISLIP: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: I heard that the Russians were there tonight. ALISON HAISLIP: Russians? WIL WHEATON: The Russians are moving a huge shipment of heroin. ALISON HAISLIP: That’s heavy stuff, Marty.

WIL WHEATON: Yeah it’s heavy. 16 kilos. ALISON HAISLIP: Well, that’s really heavy. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ALISON HAISLIP: Can you carry that?

WIL WHEATON: Don’t worry about it. ALISON HAISLIP: All right. That’s your job. You’re the muscle. You’re the muscle.

I’m the looks. What a great team we make. I’m getting excited about this, Marty. All right. WIL WHEATON: All you have to do is go up there on my arm.

We’re going to go up there like, well, you know, like they do. ALISON HAISLIP: Right. All fancy like. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. ALISON HAISLIP: All right.

WIL WHEATON: And you just catch the eye of one of those Russian mobsters. All right? ALISON HAISLIP: Mm-hmm. I can do that. WIL WHEATON: He comes out of this room.

I walk into the room. I walk out of the room. ALISON HAISLIP: So it’s just like that. WIL WHEATON: Just like that. ALISON HAISLIP: How do I get out?

WIL WHEATON: You tell them you’ve got to go powder your nose. ALISON HAISLIP: Ah. Good one. WIL WHEATON: And just keep on walking. ALISON HAISLIP: Why didn’t I think of that?

Just keep on walking. WIL WHEATON: This is perfect. ALISON HAISLIP: Yeah.

Yeah. This is going to work.

We’re going to do this, Marty. And tomorrow morning we’re going to be on a plane for Hollywood. WIL WHEATON: Betty is gravitating toward these destructive relationships. ALISON HAISLIP: I like Betty. I like being Betty.

JOHN ROGERS: Now she still has to give that away, though, because it’s the first act. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, she does. Yeah. ALISON HAISLIP: Well, you have no dice, so you can have it. BONNIE BURTON: Aww.

WIL WHEATON: Look, you have dice. JOHN ROGERS: That’s nice. BONNIE BURTON: See, not so estranged. JOHN ROGERS: Wow.

WIL WHEATON: It’s 9:30.

JOHN ROGERS: Which is early for these clubs. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. And holy [BLEEP], the line goes down the block. Guys have shown up with like– so there’s a hot dog guy and a knish guy that have never been there before. And they are doing the best business of their life.

BONNIE BURTON: Street meat! WIL WHEATON: OK. Right. OK. BONNIE BURTON: That was the name of her club.

ALISON HAISLIP: I was at street meat. Dead eyes. [LAUGHTER] JOHN ROGERS: By the way, you know dead eyes will be a GIF by tomorrow, right? WIL WHEATON: So Betty and Marty, walking into the club, seeing Lily inside.

So Lily might end up being in this scene?

JOHN ROGERS: I’ll see you too. WIL WHEATON: I changed my mind. This is Eddie and Marty at the bar. JOHN ROGERS: Oh, and you’ve come in with her. WIL WHEATON: I’ve come in with her, yeah.

JOHN ROGERS: All right. I’ve come over, waved the bartender away. WIL WHEATON: Yes. It’s filling up. It’s filling up.

It’s filling up. ALISON HAISLIP: Looking real good. WIL WHEATON: Big night. JOHN ROGERS: Thanks for coming to the club, Marty. I did not, however, expect to see with you with Betty.

You look beautiful. I always loved that dress on you. It’s a very nice dress. ALISON HAISLIP: Thanks, Eddie. You got it for me.

JOHN ROGERS: I did get it for you. It’s a very nice touch. WIL WHEATON: How’s things going, Eddie? JOHN ROGERS: They’re going good. How come you’re here with Betty, Marty?

WIL WHEATON: We just thought that maybe we would come by and take a look at the club.

ALISON HAISLIP: It’s the last night. We had to say goodbye. JOHN ROGERS: So you’re going someplace? ALISON HAISLIP: I am.

I’m getting out of this hellhole. JOHN ROGERS: This hellhole? This bar? ALISON HAISLIP: This whole place, this whole god damn city. I’m getting out, Eddie.

JOHN ROGERS: Really? ALISON HAISLIP: Mm-hmm. JOHN ROGERS: Really. That’s interesting. Hey, Marty, you know, maybe you and I could talk a little business and stuff.

You’re going to Hollywood. There’s clubs in Los Angeles. They’re big. They’re great successes. Maybe I can get a little money together for you.

WIL WHEATON: I’d like that a lot, Eddie. I’m actually looking maybe for some partners and maybe some investors. JOHN ROGERS: I tell you what, I think tonight is going to be a very important night for your future, Marty. WIL WHEATON: That’s great. Look, Eddie, no time like the present.

Slug. JOHN ROGERS: I tell you what, let me take care of a little business.

And then, you know, dance. Have a good time. I’ll come down once I got the club up and running, because Lily hasn’t even gotten her ass down here yet.

You know how people just get all rowdy until she shows up. So let me take care of business. But when your time has come, my friend, time will come. I’ll bring you upstairs. WIL WHEATON: I’m looking forward to it.

JOHN ROGERS: Looking forward to it, Marty. d WIL WHEATON: Then he leaves. JOHN ROGERS: All right. That was your scene. WIL WHEATON: But we don’t know how it ends for me.

ALISON HAISLIP: Oh, yes. We need a– JOHN ROGERS: It ends badly. WIL WHEATON: Yeah? ALISON HAISLIP: Yeah.

WIL WHEATON: OK.

OK. BONNIE BURTON: Sorry, Marty. WIL WHEATON: But I want to go upstairs. JOHN ROGERS: That is true. BONNIE BURTON: That’s true.

WIL WHEATON: I want to go upstairs, so I think it actually ended– I think it ends– BONNIE BURTON: I think it’s good. WIL WHEATON: –well for me. JOHN ROGERS: But you have to give it away anyway. WIL WHEATON: So who am I going to give it to? I want to take Eddie down with me.

JOHN ROGERS: Oh, all right. BONNIE BURTON: So I’m upstairs. And I just know that Betty had just come in, because I see her from down one of the levels. And I ask her to come up. And we’re going to discuss.

And I’m in like a beautiful red gown that has these sparklies that look like flames coming up.

JOHN ROGERS: Nice. BONNIE BURTON: And it’s beautiful. ALISON HAISLIP: You look like a hot rod. BONNIE BURTON: I look like a hot rod.

And I’m almost like a Scarlett O’Hara type. And I see your dress. And we’re going to get you a little changed up. ALISON HAISLIP: OK. BONNIE BURTON: In something a little better.

Hey, Betty, come up to the dressing room. I’ve got to talk to you about something. ALISON HAISLIP: All right. Your dressing rooms are so nice. I’ve never actually been back here.

BONNIE BURTON: I know. You should have seen this when I got here. It was a hellhole. It was worse than where you were working out. ALISON HAISLIP: Let’s not talk about that place.

Why am I Southern all of a sudden? WIL WHEATON: I don’t know. BONNIE BURTON: I don’t know. JOHN ROGERS: You just defaulted there. [INTERPOSING VOICES] ALISON HAISLIP: Sorry.

BONNIE BURTON: So I’m like, is that what you’re wearing tonight? ALISON HAISLIP: Eddie gave it to me.

You don’t like it? BONNIE BURTON: Yes. Eddie gave it to you.

We’re going to give you something a little bit better that actually doesn’t have Eddie’s name all over it. Eddie would look better in that dress. ALISON HAISLIP: All right. What have you got? BONNIE BURTON: All right.

So I think with your hair and your complexion, you need to show off some of your body. So let’s gets you changed up in this number. It’s a little sexy. Maybe it’s something you’re not used to. ALISON HAISLIP: That is a bit much.

BONNIE BURTON: Yeah. It’s basically I want all eyes on you.

” I think they should be on all of you. WIL WHEATON: Describe the dress. Describe the dress.

BONNIE BURTON: The dress is– I like this number. JOHN ROGERS: Creepy, Wil? WIL WHEATON: Yeah. BONNIE BURTON: I like this dress. I had it hand-made especially for you, actually, because I think you deserve– JOHN ROGERS: Creepier?

BONNIE BURTON: –your own dress and your own tailor. We need to get you your own designer. And this is just the start, baby, You’re going to be able to set trends just by going on the dance floor and shaking your thing. I want sequins to fly when you dance. And I want everyone to try to pick up the sequins with their tongues.

JOHN ROGERS: Creepiest. WIL WHEATON: Yes. ALISON HAISLIP: Lily, that is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. You made me my own dress. BONNIE BURTON: You need to have the Easy Street, baby.

I’m going to make that happen for you. ALISON HAISLIP: You did it all for me? BONNIE BURTON: Did it all for you.

And maybe if you become a star here, you can meet me in Hollywood and we can make some movies together. ALISON HAISLIP: I might be in Hollywood a lot sooner than you think.

BONNIE BURTON: Really? ALISON HAISLIP: Mm-hmm. BONNIE BURTON: Coming into some money soon, are you? ALISON HAISLIP: Let’s just say it looks like my luck’s turning. JOHN ROGERS: Oh, that’s the cut.

WIL WHEATON: Scene! JOHN ROGERS: That’s the scene.

That’s the cut. I love the fact that Bonnie took what could be kind of this empty little club girl and turned her into this insane Machiavellian omnisexual monster. She could either try to give Betty the night of her life or could walk through this club with a shotgun and a blow torch.

I have no idea where she’s going. It’s really great to have a player like Bonnie.

WIL WHEATON: Super awesome end to the first act. And now we’re going to do the Tilt. In Fiasco, the Tilt is these new elements that get introduced to the game.

And they come off of this tilt table. It’s similar to the tables we used for set-up. The player who has the highest black total of dice, or in our case red total of dice, and white total of dice get to choose the Tilt. So that’s going to be me and Bonnie just because of the way things worked out. So what we do is we roll these dice.

And then we’re going to use the Tilt Table just like we did before. So let’s see. We’ve got– JOHN ROGERS: What are the categories we can choose? WIL WHEATON: OK. We can choose these categories, tragedy, guilt, paranoia, or failure.

ALISON HAISLIP: I like tragedy. That was deep. BONNIE BURTON: You have such a great actress voice. ALISON HAISLIP: Yeah, right? WIL WHEATON: Guilt, someone panics.

BONNIE BURTON: Oooh. WIL WHEATON: Because we’re pretty sure that this club’s catching on fire.

There’s Russian mobsters. There’s a lot of drugs. It’s the busiest it’s ever been.

BONNIE BURTON: Yes. WIL WHEATON: That might be the worst thing that could possibly happen in this club. So if we’re all cool with that, I will add that as a Tilt element. And then we can add another Tilt element. So I’ll just do this here.

So– JOHN ROGERS: Why don’t you two choose the other Tilt? ALISON HAISLIP: OK.

There is an option under failure. Six, two would be something precious is on fire. And we did establish– BONNIE BURTON: I know what’s precious to me right now.

ALISON HAISLIP: Oh! Betty! WIL WHEATON: Oh no. BONNIE BURTON: Just sayin’. Just sayin’.

Doesn’t have to. We don’t have to go that route. ALISON HAISLIP: I just know I have better ideas for the something precious is on fire. BONNIE BURTON: OK. Let’s do that then.

ALISON HAISLIP: Yes. BONNIE BURTON: I’m a team player at this– JOHN ROGERS: Oh, yes. No, that’s the fun of the game. ALISON HAISLIP: At this junction. WIL WHEATON: At the end of the first act, we are at the club Glamorous on its final night.

Marty is on his way upstairs. Betty and Lily are pouring Betty into a dress that no one will ever forget. Where’s Eddie? JOHN ROGERS: Eddie is fumbling with arson materials– WIL WHEATON: In his office. JOHN ROGERS: In his office.

WIL WHEATON: In his upstairs office.

JOHN ROGERS: And he’s already laid in the stuff that he’s supposed to lay in in the rest of the top. He’s forgotten something. WIL WHEATON: Yes. JOHN ROGERS: And he can’t quite remember what it is.

WIL WHEATON: OK. And these are our Tilt elements that are going to make the second act of Fiasco go even more horribly wrong than it already seems destined to. We have a guilt element. Guilt, someone panics. And failure, something precious is on fire.

JOHN ROGERS: It’s a fiasco. WIL WHEATON: It is such a fiasco. Remember when I said everything was going to go horribly, horribly wrong. Don’t you ever tell anyone that Wil Wheaton lied to you, Internet, because I told you the truth.

And how about that Tilt?

Something precious is going to catch on fire. And someone is going to feel guilty and panic in a crowded nightclub. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the second act, but it is not going to be good for anyone. You can see everything that goes down for all of us next time on TableTop when our Saturday Night 78 Fiasco concludes.