Hare & Tortoise / Council of Verona: Alison Haislip, Jessica Merizan + David Kwong on TableTop
Tabletop Games take their inspiration from a number of different sources From the mythical stories of ancient times to our imagined futures. We can visit any world we want when we sit down to play with our friends Today on TableTop David Kwong, Alison, Haislip and Jessica. Merizan are here to play a pair of relatively simple, but pretty awesome games that are inspired by classic works of literature. First, we will visit Aesop’s Fables to see if slow and steady truly wins the race in Hare & Tortoise. Then we will pay homage to William Shakespeare, as we attempt to deviously manipulate the Council of Verona.
Hare & Tortoise is a racing game designed by Gun-Hee Kim where we bet on which animals from Aesop’s Fables are the best. Look. I’M not saying that Aesop was running an illegal racing club here to gather enough money to start a violent revolution, because that theory is absurd. But the very first thing we do in Hare & Tortoise is bet on which one of the five animals we think is going to win the race. Of course we have the famous hare and tortoise themselves.
I mean obviously their names right there in the title, but we also have a few other special guests.
A sheep sprinter who’s made the interesting choice of wearing a wool tracksuit for this race, The big bad wolf himself, who’s kinda a big deal and, of course, the crafty fox, (, evil, laughter, ), They’re, all fine racers, each with their own style and ability. So once all of our main bets are in, we will place a side bet.
We can double-down on the same animal we started with, or hedge out bets by coat-tailing off of another player’s win. Both are pretty valid betting strategies Once the bets are in we’re ready to race Each turn.
Players will play one to five cards from their hand of the same animal into this racing pool here. So I’m putting down three fox cards to add to the two rabbit cards and the sheep card. That’S already in play.
Once we have either four cards of the same animal or eight cards total in the pool, the animals move according to their ability. We know the hare is cocky and he moves two spaces every turn until he decides to take a nap and show off that he’s.
In first place,
The tortoise will move one space, even if everyone hates him for that doping scandal back in 566 and 564 BCE. He really should give back those pieces of yellow tape. Every racer has different powers and different movement rules.
They are all balanced, so everyone has an honest chance of winning when run by savvy players. When the top three animals cross the finish line, we will place them on the podium and we will collect our money, Who will sprint to sipping champagne at the wall of victory And who will join me on not the porn couch, Get your checkered flags ready.
It’S time to race, Hare & Tortoise
Hi, I’m Jessica Marizen People on the internet know me as Jessica Marzipan, I’m a cosplayer, YouTuber and community manager, My name’s David Kwong, I’m a magician and I’m a puzzle. Creater and I tend to fuse those together.
My name’s Alison Haislip and I am an actress and a host, So this is Hare & Tortoise. We have been given our initial bet cards.
We haven’t seen them yet we’re gon na look at them now and then we’re gon na choose one of our cards in our hands.
To be a side bet So go ahead and do that
And then we’ll be ready to begin the game, I’m obligated to bet on wolf And I’m also betting on sheep’cause. I love that little baby, sheep, Oh boy, I’m betting on the two fastest. I guess
Hare’S, on top sheep, has this sort of like turbo boost. I like this. I like this, a lot.
I am not feeling confident The animal that I have. No choice to bet on is the tortoise, and the animal that I chose from the cards, in my hand, is the sheep. So today I’m betting on rabbit and sheep
I am really really scared about this game because it’s racing, it’s betting, it’s math,
And I’m bad at all of those things. I am not an athlete And I will go first. I will start out by playing Oh boy.
[ Will ] A hare [ Alison ], Oh And then we are, as they say off. What would you like to do? [ Alison ] To the races,
To the races Yes, [, Jessica, ], Alright, okay, I chose sheep because even though I don’t have a lot of sheep in my hand, I only have a pair of sheep. I am really confident that another player in this game is also going to be going sheep and I can coattail onto the sheep.
I feel like I’m running the race.
Okay, okay [ Will ] You kind of, are
I’M a spectator, I’ve got to remember this: [ Will ] Yeah okay, Let’s go
[ Will ], Oh alright, you’ve got some sheep happening very good. Alright, we got two sheep out: Double sheep [ Will ] and a hare. Well, I think I’m gon na just balance things out here with this guy [, Alison, ], Ooh,
[ Will ] Alright -‘Bout to do something big Yeah. What are you gon na do [ Alison ].
Do some four sheep [ Will ] Sheep’s gon na go
[ Alison ], Four sheep action [ Will ] Alright We’re running it. Super sheep opening from Alison I’m gon na. Let her play the sheep. I’M gon na pretend I’m going for something else.
Running it, I’m bringing out the incredibly nonfunctional stop watch Announcing that we have now begun running.
First, the hare is going to move two spaces. You want to go ahead and move the hare.
One two: The tortoise is gon na move, no matter what So there goes the tortoise, [, Jessica, ] Bam, [ Will ] And nobody moves [ David ]. He gets another one.
Until no because he didn’t draw four Now, nobody moves until the sheep who’s going to move five [ Jessica, ], Woah [ Will ] Because he moves X plus one So the sheep’s all “ Watch out everybody
“ One two wish I could talk three four five .
‘ [ Alison ]. He stops at the water. He stops at the water because the sheep’s all ( panting, ), ( panting ) – Need water, Okay, wow
I need two cards. Please
Oh yeah, you do [ Alison ], Please, sir! Alright, here you go.
Can I have some more
Thank you, Here’s that, for you, I think this is gon na happen. [ Alison, ] Woah. It probably looks kind of dumb to play four fox cards when I’m not betting on a fox, but this is gon na. Let me clear out almost my entire hand, to get the cards that I need and hopefully will throw the other players off and make them think that I’m going for the fox, so they’ll start moving the tortoise and the sheep. For me,
Will is definitely bluffing.
He is sly, just like that fox. I do not buy it for a second. This is four, so we’re running it. Oh where’s, my thing:
Oh, that’s four. I thought you put down.
Three Click [, Alison ]. You just ended the round right there. I did
Yeah [ Alison ], Cutest clock ever Right, Cutest and most useless; Okay.
Okay, so The tortoise does not I’m sorry. The hare does not move The turtle moves, No news until the fox who goes one two, three four: what’s up sheep, I’m breathing down your little wooly neck?
I’M sorry! I need to check to make sure that I’m not going rogue and forgetting who I’m betting on
Okay, Wait but now that I’ve said that I have to look like I’m not betting on
I’M sorry I’ve said too much. I’Ve said too much, There’s so much pressure.
Okay, um nonchalantly [ Will ]. Oh alright, just a hare, not a big deal Hm whatever He’s a little thumb’s up He’s like I got this dudes
He’S all dude, I’m in the title.
I can’t lose [ Alison ] And the turtle’s like I feel bad for that guy over there [ Will ]. Oh no, the poor, little wolf isn’t going anywhere at all. I’M gon na do a little of that action.
[ David ] Twofer: Oh, wait: do you have to deal to him? First, Did you get your card [ David ]?
Oh no, [, Jessica, ]! Oh! I need one too
One [ Jessica ]. Thank you.
Yeah One I need two
You need two [ Alison ].
Thank you. Miss plays a pair Okay. Miss plays a pair
Yeah, alright, That’s my name on Thursday nights. What I’m? What [ Alison ] ( laughing )!
I don’t even know what that means.
I’M down with the rabbit running, I’m okay with that And I take a card Uh. So a wolf or two rabbits will run it. There’S five out there right now, so another pair of anything will run it
No sorry, you need eight to run it [ Jessica, ], Alright, so I It’s late in the day, [ Alison ]. It is.
This is the fifth game I’ve played today.
Kinda, tired Wan na go. I wan na get this running [ Many ], Oh
[ Will ] Look at that [, Alison ] Big day for the wolf. Look, what’s happening, Okay, so alright! So let’s go ahead.
Do you want to go ahead and pop the thing?
And the wolf’s, all hey guys, remember me: Reh [, David ] See now a well-balanced contest. Bleh, That’s the noise that the wolf makes
[ Alison ], It’s all on you, [ Will ] Yeah yeah [, Alison ] Ooh, a turtle [ Will ]. Oh looks at that a little turtle action: Okay, alright
I am going to do this. [ Will ], Oh, how very interesting Double sheep double sheep.
I think I know what your favorite animal is.
I feel good about the sheep [ David ], Oh [, Alison, ], Ooo boy, [ Will ] So I’ll, go ahead and add a sheep, I’m feeling for the youthful sheep as well.
[ Will ] Oh wow [, Alison ] Woah. This is this, makes things very interesting, So we’re gon na run it now. Would you like to hit the thing again?
Ping ( cartoon music ), I’m so conflicted (, Alison laughing ). Let’S all just stare at her. I’Ve got a great poker face, guys ( Will Alison and David laughing ) [ Will Alison and David ] Ooh
Three wolf cards in the deck are a howling wolf and if any one of those cards comes out, no matter what’s been played, only the wolf will move.
And the story behind it is that all the other animals are so frightened by the howling wolf that the wolf just lumbers on past them. What do you want to throw away [ Alison ], Fantastic?
Well, I have a terrible poker face, so I’m playing that
Jessica just said: I have a good poker face and now I’m saying I have a bad poker face, So I’m gon na play this card cause. It’S clearly what I want, But it’s not what I want. Okay, I’m I’m There’s a sheep out there and hmm
Here comes a threefer coming out What gon na happen! What’Re you doing Haislip [ David ]. She wants to run it
What’Re you doing
[ David ]: She wants to run it (, Alison, laughing ), [, Jessica, ].
Oh, that was an evil, laugh Yeah. She does Alison. What is going on with that laugh. Are you a witch (, Alison, cackles, )? Hmm, I’m gon na.
Do this actually
[ David ], Oh, I need a card. Will There you go [, Alison ]. Now I need a card [ David ]. What did you do? [ Alison ]?
I threw down another fox
She threw a fox Well that actually makes it kind of easy for me When a howl card come out, and you have yet to act, you can dump cards that you don’t care about and throw players off from what you’re actual strategy is and give yourself a Chance to refill your hand with cards, you need And the wolf moves one [ Alison ], One
[ David ] Right [ Will ] And we are all kinda clumped together up here.
[ Alison ], Except for our little sheep. This is quite a race happening, except for our little sheep. The little baby sheep is in front
That’S the little baby sheep voice. You guys I wanted to get into the race, because we wanted everybody to know that I can run really fast so that I can be just as important as other people that are in the race but’cause everybody’s.
All like you sheeps, you just have to be slow and go to the back, and I don’t want to do that. What was the wolf noise again Rehhh?
( laughing ) He’s running so fast he’s like vomitting Rehhh, ( laughing ), [, Jessica, ], (, laughing ), It’s like dry-heaving Rehh ehh, So the wolf’s training regiment involves a whole lot of eating Little Red Riding Hood and her grandmother for maximum carbs and protein
What is going on with the big bad wolf’s t-shirt? Is he like, in this race to eat pigs? Are there pigs at the end of this thing?
Is there just like some kind of slow cooker at the end of this race? Is that why he’s in it
He’S in it to win it for the pigs,
Wait, how do I have five cards? Well, because now you have six. No, you had one hiding Wait. What
[ Alison ], You have one back there.
No I’m sorry! I can’t count. Actually I think she was trying to cheat. You don’t know, I’m the fox
I’M pretty sure if she can’t count that that didn’t help her in meaningful way. Once I took an IQ test and I got an 84 in spatial – I’m not even joking – I don’t know what that means.
[, David ]: What is it out of [ Jessica? ]? That’S not a joke. How do you successfully navigate the automatic doors at the shopping, plaza (, Alison laughing )? I don’t know What is that out of
[ Will ] Yeah, that’s wow.
A hundred is normal, Like I’m not even joking about the 84 thing Like it was 84 and 136. It was really formative.
Let’S move on ( David and Alison laughing ) [ Will ] Wow wolf time And she just throws out three wolves She’s like movin’ on. If you were that wolf, would you need to run around in like a hamster ball?
[ Jessica and Alison ], Blehh ( all but David laughing ) David, what’s happening over there.
What’S going on I’m in a real pickle over here, [ Alison ], A pickle
[ Will ] Yeah Yeah Wow, You don’t hear people talking about being in a pickle, very often Pickle, I’m bringing it back.
Since, when did you become 64 years old Yeah? So what else are you in back there? In 1959, I’m gon na bring back huzzah too
[ Will ] Really That’s great
[ Alison ], Huzzah [ Will ] That’s fantastic. I’M working on bully Bully That’s another one that I’m trying to get to come around.
[ David ], This [ Will ] What’s going on Ooh. Okay, alright, Are you gon na? Do one of your patented Haislip trey moves Trey, (, laughs, ), the threesome
Yes, No watch this though Sca-bam [ Will ] What [ Alison. ] Wolf is moving on.
[ David ], Alright ( cartoon music, ), Alright turtles, [, Alison ], Two turtles, I’m all in guys, [, Alison, ], Woah,
[ Jessica, ], Rabbits [ Will ] The rabbit’s gon na the rabbit is going to win this race, no matter what, Unless someone plays a howl, Unless someone makes the wolf howl?
Oh, unless someone howls
You’Re right, Oh man, Will that person be you Right? That would be a sweet move if you don’t want the rabbit to win.
I have a howl card in my hand, If I get a chance to play that howl card, the rabbit doesn’t move and I at least have a chance to get the sheep across the finish line in first place, I’m really tempted to howl just to throw everybody Off but I think I want to secure those points just in case someone else takes second and third [ Jessica ]. I’M so excited We’re gon na lock up this rabbit,
( Alison gasps, ), [, Alison and Will ] Wow Stupid rabbit got first place, sheep was so close, He was, he was right there. He just had to get across the line.
The rabbit crosses the finish line. Congratulations!
( fanfare, music, ) Number two, the tortoise moves, one [ Will and David ]. That’S it Yep. Alright, Okay, sheep second place.
Please please, please, please, please, please, please
Who’S got a sheep [, Alison ]. Well, I’m just gon na
Who’S got a sheep, Reveal my bid right now and do a little sheep action. [ Jessica, ], Huh,
Well, alright, [ David ]. You need like counter spells in this game. Someone places a howl and you’re like nope, sorry going through.
No, I play my
.. [ Will ]. No. I play my Earplugs of silence.
[ Will ] magic drain. You know I’m really dedicated to um
[ Will ], Oh how interesting How what an interesting wait hold on a second One, two, three four five. I forgot to draw a card [ Jessica, ], One more! Thank you Well got ta play a little catch-up here. [ Will ] Yeah
[ David ], So we’re gon na do that.
[ Will ] Okay, [, Alison ], Hmm Um, [ David ]. Don’T play a howl if you’re going for the sheep.
Psh, I’m not ( laughs, ), [, Jessica, ] He’s so awkward, Just throwin’ down another. Alright we’re gon na run it Alison. Do you want to push the Ping
Alright, here we go. The hare. Oh, is already there, So you know what It’s taking a nap, because it’s a dick like that.
Now the tortoise moves one cause: that’s what it does. The fox moves two And the sheep goes across the finish line: ( musical woo ) To second place.
[ Alison, ], Second place.
Where it’s very happy Really happy that the sheep is in second place, I’m in really good position to at least get five points. Okay! Well, I tell you what I tell you what I would like Baby sheep just came in second place and she’s happy
[ Will ]. What I would like is for that sheep to just keep going
I’D really like that that would be terrific Sure.
Okay, let’s make the rabbit, keep going. What do you got going on over there?
Let’S do that as well: ( laughs, ) [ Will ] Alright. Okay, I think I sense what’s kinda going on in these here parts Yep Ohhh, Oh
What does that? Do, I’m not quite sure, Oh wait hold on.
I need more cards. [ Will ] How many cards do you need? I need three, which is weird
[ Jessica ], Quite a few cards [ David ]. I might have had more options during that last [, Alison ], Yep [ Will ] Alright
[ David ] Last play
I might not be the only one who can’t count here: (, Alison, laughs, ), I’m You know what I’m a terrible host today and I apologize for that. Um.
I’M gon na do that.
‘Cause that fox can eat a dick I’ll go ahead and end it [ Will ] Alright, very good. So the only one who moves is the fox. The only one who moves is the wolf and the wolf moves. One
Fox Wolf: Oh I’m, a dick
Now I’m a dick ( laughing ).
You want to be on team dick together.
Team dicks for life – Yes, Oh we’re gon na do that [, Alison ]! Oh someone wants turtle to win, Come on team dicks. What are we doing?
I mean now it’s kinda pointless, So I’ll do that Unless someone throws a howls and then that’s not pointless.
Okay, someone’s gon na do that. [, David ] Ooh
David, even though I was just trash talking, you saying you couldn’t count Um can we be team pickle? Let’S do it [ Jessica ], Which is also..
( Will laughs loudly ).
Let’S do it Also kind of phallic. If I could reach you, I would..
Team, dick and team pickle Yeah we’re in the same division, ( Alison laughing ). If I could reach you, I would high five you, Oh God, I expected electricity.
[ Will ]. Alright
[ Jessica, ], Alright [ Will ] Five cards out there.
Guys this game’s over Okay, we’re running it, The hare’s already there
The tortoise moves two. Nobody else moves at all, I’m killing the game right now with tortoise ,’cause, I’m locking up first and second. I also think that nobody’s betting on tortoise.
So I don’t want someone in third place getting points. I guess I was actually mildly surprised that turtle actually placed in this race.
I’Ve got second and third place and I don’t think anybody else was betting on the tortoise. So I’m pretty sure that I’m in really good position Starting with David. Why don’t you show us your bet cards?
Okay, so that won this game. [ Alison ], Oh [, Will ] Okay, who came in second
The sheep, Unfortunately, I also got second place: ( David yells, ) [, Alison ], Oh Look at you. [ Will ] Nicely done.
[ David ] Team, pickle [, Will ] Well played well played Haislip what’ve, you got Well, I got our second placer. [ Will ] Yeah [ Alison ], And then I got our wolf
And your not, then your did not place [ Jessica ].
He ate too much breakfast Yep ( heaving ), So I was hoping the turtle would have finished a little bit higher And even though I only started with one of these, I was really confident that one other player in this game would be making this guy run. So I took the sheep
[ Alison ] Ooh, so you have second and third, So I’m on second and third, which is not as good as first and second
You started strong fox, though didn’t ya [ Will ]. I did. I wanted to throw everybody off Yeah yeah right,
Um so uh hare [ Will ] Yes, [ Jessica, ] And uh ..
( Alison screams, ) [ Will ] What the hell Dominance. [ Jessica, ]. There we go [ Alison ]. I applaud I applaud So yeah. Bravo, so team pickle is currently tied.
I’M exhausted Yeah boy. I think we learned a lot about each other too [ David ], I’m emotionally exhausted Yeah. You know, I think we did
Ragtown team of individuals – Yes, we are that’s fantastic.
We’Re the island of misfit toys Yeah. We are Yeah you’re right,
Only you two guys are a toy made out of a pickle jar, [ Alison, ], Yes, and we’re dicks And we’re a dick, Alright Verona’s up next
Council of Verona is a Romeo and Juliet themed game designed by Michael Eskue.
In keeping with the theme of the game, I’ve decided to give the rules intro in the style of Shakespeare A moment. Please ( clears throat, ) Two game, mechanics both alike in dignity. In fair Verona, where we paint this game From drafting nobles to influence secretly two household powers, nearly the same
A pair of star-crossed lovers ply much guile whose players profit when fixed together, Whether both alive in council or grave exile lest ye nobel ties loose their tether. Fearsome Lord Capulet opposes Montague each seek conquest for grand victory.
To fill council crimson and not rival hue and through their ladies craft treachery, The warriors disrupt Verona’s peaceful breath through drawn sword caused blood to flow transporting nobles from council unto death.
The skillful killers, Tybalt Benvolio And lo our noble prince of’nother family guarding council from rebellious subject, begs peace and healing not anarchy, Neighbor-stained swords he doth reject. Now. In quarter hour, traffic of our stage by clever design we doth play
The joyful passage of microgames and rage watching losing cousins couch dismay
The like of which will patient minds attend, and I’m seriously done with this – pretend Alright. This is Council of Verona and the player who goes first, as we draft cards is going to be the player who was most recently standing on a balcony So who, among us, can remember standing on a balcony. My place has a balcony.
Mine too [ Will ]. Okay Does sleeping on a balcony count, I’m just just asking ( stutters ), Probably not
I mean I think I was on my balcony yesterday And when was the last time you were on your balcony. Uh the trash is on our balcony. [ Will ] Yeah, But my husband takes it out.
Because I’m terrible Allison looks like you will be drafting first, Oh boy And your husband is now like.
Why did I do that? He’S great and I’m not
( laughing ), Alright. So the way this works is we’re all gon na start out with one card that is gon na help us figure out what cards out of this deck. We’Re going to draft to build the players that we’re gon na sort of try to put out in council and exile.
So the first card will really give us an idea of where we’re going to start Alison.
You can go ahead and you can do your draft So grab whoever you want. First [ Alison ], I’m drafting this person.
Alright very well [ Alison ]. Then I go this way. Then you give it to me And now I look through here: Don’t mess this up for team pickle,
Okay, ( laughing ) ( laughing ).
Alright, there you go. Did you guys strategize for this? My basic drafting strategy is, you know the cards you get initially, which mine was Lord Capulet. I instantly wanted all Capulets ,’cause. I knew I could control where they were placed more And obviously Lady Capulet is one of the one of the most strong cards in the game.
So that’s who I thankfully got second
And then, when the nurse came around for my next draft pick, I was like oh brilliant. I really like to have a clear strategy from the beginning of the game And I started out with Mercutio who’s really tough to play because useually, the Montegues and Capulets fight over council and Mercutio’s like ( beep ), all you dicks we’re going to exile. I feel so powerful right now. Clearly, I just like to pick the hottest people in the deck
I picked Paris Benvolio and Lady Montague And Paris is, you know, he’s got it going on, So I take one [ Alison ]. Then you get to just see that last one
And I see this
[ Alison ], Yeah [ Will ] Yep And you guys don’t know what it is.
[ Will ] That’s right. That becomes the burn card and put it on there. That’S fine. I have Montague Romeo and the friar
And I’m feeling pretty good about this hand. I can use the friar to bring Romeo back to the council.
If I need to, I can keep Juliet and Romeo together. So I think that’s gon na be my strategy. ( tango, music ) Go ahead. Play your first card and decide if it’s going to the council or to exile, Sca-boom
Wow, alright, Lord Capulet has been played to the council, And Lord Capulet wants more Capulets than Montagues on the council. Now, if you like, you may place a bet on Lord Capulet.
That will help you decide Alright. So now Alison could have a zero, a three or a five there and based on the value. That’S she put there. [ David ] Zero’d have been real trendy
Then she’s gon na know
Yeah so she’s like no. This is a bluff, then she’s.
Definitely gon na put a zero there. I will be playing … [, Alison ], It’s so sneaky
What am I doing Is this Council of Verona, the musical now Alison [ Alison ] Yep, So I’m going to play Juliet.
Actually that was just West Side Story. Wasn’T it
Juliet On the council, [ David and Alison ], Ooo [, Alison ], Alright [ Will ] Okay, alright
[ Jessica, ] Ooh, And I am now going to make a betsy-bet Ooh a betsy-bet. I mean I’m gon na put a cupcake on Juliet, Which sounds worse than bet.
[ Alison and Jessica, ] Yeah, it does [, Will ] Way worse, [, Alison ], It sounds dirty. It’S only betting [ Will ].
That sounds way worse than bet,
Okay, so I get really stressed out about gambling and betting, and I just you know I don’t like wasting money, So everyone thought it was really funny to disguise the fact that this was a betting strategy by calling it cupcakes
Didn’T you say you had a good poker face: [ Will ] Yeah, I’m really confused.
No, I have a bad poker face. [ Alison, ], Her poker face was terrible. Do you remember that [ Will ]? It was really.
It was a really bad poker face. It was really terrible. That’S why I don’t gamble. I go into the weird sci-fi spa where you’re like: Where is there a weird sci-fi in Vegas
There’S a huge, huge spa in. I don’t remember if it’s the Wynn or whatever, but it’s like giant and you’re sitting there and you’re like it’s way too peaceful in here.
It seems weird to me to talk about a spa as a sci-fi, spa and then just go on to describe a regular. Spa Is quiet science fiction. Alright, you guys can walk me through it. Next time I go to Vegas and I won’t go to the spa. Speaking of which I am going to wait, no, I don’t want [ David ].
To do that card, yet [ Will ] Woah ahh [, Alison ] Woo. I got nervous ( laughing ) Jessica. You are falling apart. What’S going on,
( mumbles ) upset me, I’m just I’m just gon na I’m just going to. Oh God all my cards are.
Should we choose for you All? My cards are really terrible to use this early in the game. Someone didn’t draft. Well,
Somebody took all the ladies All the ladies Um. Well, What’s up all the married ladies Lady Montague Lady Capulet,
Right, it is a musical
Yep yep, It’s West Side Story, [, Jessica, ].
This is what I’m gon na I’m really not comfortable with snapping. This is what I’m gon na do, because this is all I can do right now.
[ Will ] Yeah, okay, Count, Paris ( talking over each other ). You can view any two influence tokens [ David ]. I would suggest those two
I would suggest looking at these two influence tokens
This is gon na give you a lot of information, [, Alison ].
Why did you just sit back like you’re a gangster? Oh wow, She’s like I got this, I feel like I’m in the spot right now and just everything’s going wrong.
Oh, that was so informative. [ Will ] Yeah. What’S going on with that one Just a lot just a lot’s going on
( laughs ), I think we’re losing Jessica
Well, this might confuse you [ Alison ], Bring it We’re already quite confused.
We’Re gon na go like that. [ Will ] More
What Lord Montague would like more Montagues than Capulets to be on the council. We’Re gon na do something crazy. Here: [ Will ] Okay, [ Jessica, ], Oh gosh, I’m so nervous.
And we’re gon na go like that: [ Will ] Wow You’re ballsy Somebody’s feeling really good about Lord Montaperhaps.
Unless it’s zero [ Will ] Unless that’s not what he wants.
Yeah, Okay, [ David ], Mind games. I really only have one option that I can do right now: Yeah
What’S that And it is put down, Lady Capulet [ Will ], Oh my God, [ David ] Woah And I’m going to do a little token, swapping
I obviously don’t want to swap my own token [ David ]. That’S the best card right, It’s got ta, be I don’t know it’s pretty good. My only choice is to swap these two tokens.
Well, here’s Tybalt Tybalt doesn’t like anybody, And he especially doesn’t like when there are people on the council And as it turns out in the particular version, Tybalt has got a thing for Juliet, so he’s bringing her over ( rest of the players ooh ) to exile. I was always really into that sort of like odd relationship that maybe existed between Juliet and Tybalt
So I decided it would be nice to kind of bring that into this contemporary production of Romeo and Juliet. I really don’t want anyone to win so so I’m just gon na move [ Will ]. Benvolio is going to move one character from the council to exile.
Who is Benvolio moving You’re gon na you’re gon na move, one of the red ones, Just move one of the red ones?
Well, choose one: it’s important Go team pickle, You aren’t wait, which are you [, Alison ], He’s red, [, Jessica, ], You’re, red
No, I put this well, I put that down. [ Will ], He bet on Montague, but then [ Alison ]. Oh that’s right, but I flipped them. [ Will ], but then we got switched up So now. Basically, if you want to go with Montague your team’s dick adjacent okay, If you want to go Or you could be team, lady dicks
The what now That um Team dick and pickle?
Oh, I like the sound of team, dick and pickle, The dick and pickle sounds like a terrific pub
Yes, The Dick & Pickle: Let’s go down to the Dick & Pickle In West Hollywood Yeah! Oh, I love it.
And play some games: [ Will ] Yeah. When I go to the Dick & Pickles, I obviously drink the dill gin & tonic, It’s basically a gin & tonic and then they just put dill pickle juice in it And then there’s a little sprig of dill
It’S weird, but it’s good! Last time I was at the Dick & Pickle.
Ironically, there were no pickles. They gave you cucumbers, you can make your own pickles. That’S like the kitschy new thing that they’re doing these days.
It takes a really long time to make a pickle
Also, strangely, at the Dick & Pickle, they serve a white Russian, but they don’t actually put it in a glass. They put it in a super soaker.
You just have to catch as much of it in your mouth. As you can We’ll see you at the Dick & Pickle, I really don’t have anything invested in helping you win, because you and I are tied for the big prize – [ Alison, ], Ooo
[ Will ] That’s true. Oh now I see Wow. I already trash talked you once earlier, which I’m sorry about, because this is a friendly game. That’S okay!
I see where we stand now.
[ Will ] Yeah, But you know Alison. I thought I was on team pickle, but it’s team, lady dicks. Now, let’s do this.
Alright, Let’s get you out of this game.
Okay, [ Will ] Okay. So who are you moving? Well, whatever gets him out of this game? [ Will ]? Okay, well, he’s only betting on Juliet right now.
So if you want you, basically you can screw over Lord Montague or Lord Capulet Wait. I thought you wasn’t one of these
.. I put this down, but [ Will and David ] The red got switched Because of Team lady dick
( laughing ) By team lady dicks over here
Lady dick You’re, ruining everything I don’t know what’s happening any more, But I knew she was gon na. Do that
[ Jessica, ] You’re, just [ David ].
No, I didn’t so complicated lady dick [, Alison ]. I know You’re hard to find ( Will and Alison laughing ) Team. Lady dicks. Let’S get t-shirts
Alright, well, I really just want to move on at this point. I think you speak for everyone when you say that so I’m gon na put on on the red, I think [ Will ] Okay.
So that means so that means you’re gon na kill, Montague [, Jessica, ], Yeah
[ Will ] Perfect [, Alison ] By the way, putting them in exile doesn’t mean they’re killed, they’re just no longer allowed in Verona.
It just listen, We’re not bringing people back from the dead, We’re quite angry.
It’S not zombie Romeo and Juliet We’re just letting them back in the city, Maybe a little bit. Maybe that’s the expansion, I’m gon na guess he doesn’t have Romeo, because his immediate move would be to do that.
Yeah, I’m kinda thinking the same thing.
Why would I do that? [ Will ] If you bet Romeo and you have Romeo Romeo and Juliet score Both literally and [ Will and Alison ] Yeah
That’S what I’m talking about? Yes, we’re killing it on the innuendos here Yeah, we really are That’s actually the password to get into the Dick & Pickle is just any innuendo.
Not the word innuendo, No, no, it has to be a good innuendo. My of course preferred method of walking into the Dick & Pickle when the little thing is slid.
Apart is to just put my finger in like this. My password to the Dick & Pickle would probably be like eh. I got your pickle right here And then point to my crotch, where I don’t have a pickle
It doesn’t really work, But they let me in Alright guys we’re gon na do [ Other players – ]. Oh Wow,
What Did not expect that to happen? I’M playing Romeo on the council right now, because I think I can heal Juliet and bring her back over, keep them together Or if somebody kills Romeo they’ll be together.
So I know I got that down.
But I’m gon na bet on Capulet Everything he did makes literally no sense to me. I know it makes no sense at all It’s very confusing, So I feel like I’m gon na play something and he’s just gon na renege everything I do.
Alright, so I’m just trying to do the most confusing move possible, So go go ahead, Alison. Where are you gon na play, your guard Alright?
Well, this is who I have
I have lovely lady nurse: [ Will ]. The nurse will move one character from exile to the council. Who would you like to move? Okay, I’m gon na move Juliet
[ Will ] Okay, Romeo and Juliet are both scoring so you’re trying to decide if you’re gon na keep
I’M just gon na do that I mean I might as well at this point. There’S nothing else.
You think the lovers are gon na stay together. Okay, There’s nothing else. That’S gon na make any sense for me to bet on
Right so – and this is why I’m losing Because Mercutio’s agenda is to have more things on there than not there, And I guess I’m gon na put a cupcake on Juliet So where who do you have over there? I’M gon na make this fast, unlike every other turn.
You’Ve picked an interesting time to start doing that
( Alison laughs, ), Lady Montague, [, Jessica, ], Yep [ Will ] is gon na swap some influence tokens [, Alison ], Oh God, [ Will ].
Where is she going?
I’M gon na put her over here. [ Will ]. Okay. This is about to mess everything up Now, I’m screwed I’m like really upset now.
[ Will ] Right and you can swap any influence tokens that you want. I’M going to swap my blue right there, Yes, [ Jessica ] With the Juliet’s, the top red [, Alison, ] Wow. She just put all of your eggs in that basket.
[ David ], She keeps moving me [ Will ] Wow, okay, [ Alison ]? No, I moved you the one time, [ Jessica, ] And then I’m gon na put this one on the middle of Romeo.
Yes, Alright, there you go and that’s put there on Romeo
Oh Jessica, just totally screwed me up. I did not anticipate the tokens moving. I played it totally straight no bluffing. I think David has one of the other kill people.
I think you have the ability to move, someone Not kill you guys got me saying it.
Exile does not mean that they are dead, They’re, just not in Verona, So yeah Romeo can totally date. Her
She was never dead, She’s, not zombie, Juliet for crying out loud. I wanted those two together because I was staked [ Will ] Yeah Uh, so I put them apart because I knew we could resurrect one of them.
[ Will ]? Oh, you got the friar to resurrect, So the friar’s gon na come here.
[ David ]. So there’s no need. There’S no need [ Will ]. Do you want to move a neutral, a Capulet or a [ David ] Looks just like I really wan na dominate the council with red, so
[ Will ] Okay, so you’re gon na move Tybalt over to the council And that will bring us up to scoring ( tango music ). So in the world of putting together the scores from the previous game, where the two of you had eight
You sneaky dick pickle, ( all laughing ), Which means that Jessica Wait.
Wait, wait! Wait! You know what I should do is take this five here and just kinda change it to a zero
[ Alison ] Did you just do magic, [ Will ], I told you he could do magic. I told you he was a witch. How did you do that?
Magic’S not allowed in this game?
Oh, I got creepy feelings now. I need to call my therapist. Maybe it’s because I have a drawer full of extra tokens here, ( Alison and Will laughing ) [ Alison ]. What [ David ], I didn’t know what you guys were gon na get.
So I had to come prepared
( Will and Alison laughing ). That’S why you never play games with a magician. Congratulations. You have the won Council of Verona and Hare & Tortoise. You will go to the wall of victory where you will receive a trophy Guys.
You are with me on an express train to Loserville Woo. It’S gon na, be amazing.
Alright team, dick Team, dicks [, Will ] Yeah We’re all winners tonight, But in a really in an actual real, more meaningful way. You’Re the winner
I’Ll buy you all drinks at the Dick & Pickle [, Alison, ], Yeah [ Will ]. I love that Fantastic (, fanfare, music, ), Hello, friends,
Hi [ Will and David ] Hello – I’m not surprised to be in here today as a participant and not a host.
I did not play well. I’M very surprised to see the two of you here.
( Alison, crying ). I really thought I was dominating until She is wily. She is a sly, I don’t know if she’s wily or if you know how like sometimes when people are just like, so not good at playing a game that they play it well That it comes all the way back.
Around [, Alison, ], Yeah
That’S kinda bad loserism over there Alison (, Alison laughing ). I mean I don’t know how I feel about that. That’S what I mean. I don’t know if she was playing us with the whole, like I didn’t test well on my IQ test, But she had some incredible insight at the end there, which is like wait, a minute we’re neck and neck. I’M gon na throw you under the bus You’re right.
I think she played us the whole time.
And I was too kind-hearted to not even think about that. I think she played us And that was that was uh. That was magical of you. I want to show you guys a pretty cool magic trick that I made up myself.
[ Alison ], Really
Are you ready, [, David ]? Okay, I like that [ Will ]. No one can see me because it’s magic That was awesome.
He’S just behind the I mean you’re, you do this No wait. Where’D, he go, I don’t know, but you do it.
I’M gone That was terrible, Sorry Jessica. We played a couple of like deception games today and you were better than everyone at them and there was some talk in the loser’s lounge that maybe you were playing everybody all the way through. Would you care to address that?
I think I might have been playing myself all of these years.
Really, Maybe I have such low self-esteem that I have more self-esteem than anyone.
I know Yeah. That makes sense. Well, let me tell you something: that’s probably going to help increase your self-esteem
Because you played so well today and surprised the ( beep ) out of the world and won You get a TableTop Trophy of Awesome. I don’t know what to do Well. Hang on, while I engrave this trophy for you, You can’t take that back.
You can’t unengrave something. No, I can’t It’s legit, It’s real. It was hand-crafted with you in mind.
Please receive this from us with our gratitude and make any speech if you so desire. This has a lot of weight to it.
I’M going to put this on my mantle piece, which I don’t own a mantle right now, so I’m going to build one with this. In mind, Wow, Thank you so much
You’Re welcome And thank you for coming to play with us today.
Tabletop is so important everyone, Ah that rules that makes me really happy. She’S right, TableTop is important.
And until next time play more games, ( peppy, music, )