Settlers of Catan: Wil Wheaton, Jane Espenson, James Kyson, Neil Grayston. TableTop Episode 2

Settlers of Catan

We all have a few go-to games that we use as infection vectors to introduce gaming to our non-gamer friends and family Well, today, on Table Top Neil Grayston, Jane Espenson and James Kyson are joining me to play the game that I used to introduce my wife and Our two children to the joys of trading wood for sheep, It’s a lot more fun than it sounds. You also get to build roads And I’m not doing a good job of selling it

 


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Listen just sit back and watch us play a modern-day classic The Settlers of Catan [ MUSIC PLAYING ] WIL WHEATON. This game is a global phenomenon. Since it was released in 1995, it has sold hundreds of millions of copies. That means that, right now at this instant, there are thousands of people playing this game all over the world, including us. We are settlers on the legendary island of Catan

 

 

The first person to reach 10 victory points wins the game. You get victory points by collecting and managing resources. You get resources when one of the settlements you have built is adjacent to a tile that has spawned a resource We find out, which tiles spawn resources every turn by rolling dice. No one will have enough resources on their own to build the roads, settlements and cities. They need to win the game, so we will all have to barter and trade with each other.

Just like in real life, there are nasty, surprises waiting for you. Whenever we roll a seven, the robber gets activated and he steals from you. We hate the robber, The robber is a dick, But if you got robbed, it’s not the end of the world.

There are other ways to get victory points.

 

Having the longest road having the largest army, or you can also trade in resources to buy these development cards, You are about to see all of this in action because it is time to play The Settlers of Catan NEIL GRAYSTON. Well, my name’s Neil Grayston, And I guess most people know me as Fargo on Eureka.

James KYSON, I’m James Kyson, I’m an actor. I guess most people know me from Heroes. A TV show on NBC. I played Ando JANE ESPENSON, I’m Jane Espenson

I am a TV writer/producer, I’m best known for sci-fi and fantasy shows, like Buffy, the Vampire Slayer and Game of Thrones and Once Upon a Time, WIL WHEATON, All right Jane. So you get to place a settlement and a road JANE ESPENSON. I’M going to put one right here: I’m going to send a road that way.

Wil WHEATON All right: OK, James, A settlement and a road JAMES KYSON. All right, I’m going to start on this site, NEIL GRAYSTON Right. I am going to go right here.

Wil WHEATON, That’s where I was going to play: Grayston

 

I will begin here. No, Yes, I will begin here. I have not played this game in five years.

No here I will begin here. Neil GRAYSTON, I mean it seems like Wil he’s sort of the master of the game as it relates to the rest of us WIL WHEATON. Seven, Anyone can win at any time.

It really depends on the dice. The only way that you can eke out an edge at all is if you get real good board placement and if you can kind of work, the other players to trade, to your advantage. Now we go back the other way.

 

The second settlement you place gives you the resources where that settlement lands. So I will put a settlement here.

And now I will get lumber clay and ore. NEIL GRAYSTON. Well, I do believe then that will go here. So I get clay/brick wood/lumber and wheat/grain WIL WHEATON Wheat/grain NEIL GRAYSTON, All right!

Wil WHEATON That was actually –. Wheat/Grain was my family’s name when we emigrated from Scotland And they changed it at Ellis Island because they had a very hard time pronouncing it All right. James you’re up JAMES KYSON Wow. Let’S see

I’M going to go this way: WIL WHEATON, Very bold, Very interesting move, So you will get an ore and you will get a brick JANE ESPENSON James might have screwed up early on when he placed his development along the seashore

 

 

James KYSON, I started by trying to utilize the three for ones: [, MUSIC, PLAYING, ], WIL, WHEATON And Jane JANE ESPENSON, Showing up here today. This is the first time I’ve played this game, I’m going to go right there, WIL WHEATON, You actually can’t build there because you are adjacent to Neil

Jane ESPENSON, All right, I meant — WIL WHEATON, That’s all right, JANE ESPENSON –, I’m going to go there, WIL WHEATON! Listen! You could become lousy with sheep, JANE ESPENSON. I could be Exactly

Wil WHEATON, Which is my Proclaimers, cover band, JANE ESPENSON, So I get two sheep — WIL WHEATON You get two sheep –, JANE ESPENSON — and a wheat WIL WHEATON — and a wheat JANE ESPENSON. Oh my god. I can make my lamb and wheat stew WIL WHEATON. Oh jeez,

I read about it on the internet:

 

Ok, so go ahead and roll the dice to find out which tile produces resources. 11, So orange gets wheat. Red gets wheat.

And blue gets wood, JANE ESPENSON, So is anyone willing to trade a sheep and give me a — WIL WHEATON Yeah I’ll trade, you wood for sheep, JANE, ESPENSON, Fantastic? I will do that And is anyone willing to give me some bricks for some wheat

Neil GRAYSTON, I am going to hold on to my bricks, JANE ESPENSON. What if I sweeten the deal and give you two wheats for one bricks, JAMES KYSON, She’s dealing and wheeling already

 

Neil GRAYSTON Yeah yeah JAMES KYSON, Uh-oh

Neil GRAYSTON, I’m good for wheat, JANE ESPENSON, All right, WIL WHEATON, James you’re, up JAMES KYSON. Ok, here we go And it’s a five

Wil WHEATON James rolls a five which means white gets ore. And the other five is here. So orange gets clay, NEIL GRAYSTON All right, WIL WHEATON. There you go JAMES KYSON. Would anyone like a ore for a wood

Wil WHEATON, I’m good NEIL GRAYSTON I’ll, give you an ore for a clay.

 

James KYSON, OK, I will give you an ore for a clay, NEIL GRAYSTON, All right. I’M done JAMES KYSON, All right.

Neil GRAYSTON I’ve been playing Settlers, probably about once a year for the past decade, I’d say So. Every time a refresher is kind of needed. 11. I think that’s me again. I will trade a wheat for a sheep

Jane ESPENSON, I have so much wheat, I don’t even know NEIL GRAYSTON. Ok, then WIL WHEATON. Would you say you have a ton of wheat, [, LAUGHTER, ], WIL WHEATON, That’s my name. I know

Neil GRAYSTON, This guy JAMES KYSON Yeah – I don’t get it NEIL GRAYSTON All right! I’M going to build a road WIL WHEATON Build that road, Build that road.

Neil GRAYSTON, Hmm: where do I build the road [ WHISPERS? ]? I build the road to there, WIL WHEATON All right. My turn. Seven

James KYSON – Oh yes, WIL WHEATON, Seven. So that means the robber is going to come in and rob us and be a dick JAMES, KYSON Right now, WIL WHEATON Yeah, which sucks for everybody

It sucks a little bit less for me because it means that I’m going to get to steal a card from someone

 

Jane ESPENSON Doesn’t seem like it sucks at all for you, [ LAUGHTER, ], [, MUSIC, PLAYING ] WIL WHEATON. Now I know that Jane is lousy with wheat, JANE ESPENSON Mm-hmm WIL WHEATON. So I am going to do my very best to steal wheat from you.

Yes, Now you don’t know what I have JAMES KYSON. Oh, a seven WIL WHEATON, It’s a seven Doh All right, so the robber’s going to move again.

James KYSON, You could get it right back, WIL WHEATON, Yep, the robber’s going to move again And if you want to steal the wheat back from me, –, oh no you’re, stealing from me, JANE ESPENSON, I’m going to steal this one!

 

Wil WHEATON, Damn it

Jane ESPENSON, I am going to buy a development card, WIL WHEATON Curses [, MUSIC PLAYING ], JANE ESPENSON. It’S still my turn. Wil WHEATON. It is JANE ESPENSON, I’m going to buy another development card.

Wil WHEATON Holy crap, JANE, ESPENSON, Empty my hand, JAMES KYSON, All right Come on six, Seven

Wil WHEATON, Oh man, JANE ESPENSON. I did a trade that allowed me to buy two development cards in a single turn and empty my hand out which turned out to be fantastic because then the robber came along and I had nothing to steal.

 

I figured out how to be robber, proof, JAMES KYSON, Just to be fair, I’ll put it here And I’ll take a card from Neil

Jane ESPENSON Does Neil feel that’s fair, JAMES KYSON. Well, I’m sure it’ll come around to me. The next one will be me, NEIL GRAYSTON, And it’s a six JAMES KYSON. Oh finally,

Wil WHEATON Six NEIL GRAYSTON, Oh WIL WHEATON, I get paid with ore and you get paid with lumber JAMES KYSON, Yes, WIL WHEATON, All right!

Seven JAMES KYSON, Oh wow, WIL WHEATON. I know that James has wheat, So let’s shut that down and let’s hope that I can steal wheat from you, JAMES KYSON. I will just give it to you.

Here, WIL WHEATON, Really NEIL GRAYSTON James, is just giving his cards away And it’s like at least make him work for it. Man, JAMES KYSON, No wait a minute.

 

 

Neil GRAYSTON He’s stealing from you WIL WHEATON. Don’T worry, I’m not going to watch your cards and figure out exactly where the wheat goes. Is it — argh JAMES KYSON, This one? I really found out like how aggressive people are playing WIL WHEATON. Would you be interested in trading wheat for brick,

James KYSON, So the brick that you just stole from me: WIL WHEATON, Yes,

 

Yes, JAMES KYSON, I will give you my wheat. If you will give me brick and another card WIL WHEATON. I had almost convinced James to trade me wheat, so that I could build a city

And James then realized –, JAMES KYSON, Oh wait. What am I doing? No, I need this wheat WIL WHEATON. I was so close JAMES KYSON. I got seduced by you Wil for like –. Oh my god.

Neil GRAYSTON, It was right there, WIL WHEATON, It was happening. We were in the bedroom and everything JAMES KYSON. I was like what am I doing. I need to –. I need to win

Jane ESPENSON Don’t give up your wheat’til. You first get wood JAMES KYSON. You almost had me You Jedi-minded me Wil, Oh WIL, WHEATON. You cannot blame a sexy. Sexy man like myself for trying to get his wheat on

 

 

I am going to buy a development card, JANE ESPENSON, All right, it’s my turn, But before I do that, I’m going to play a knight, [ MUSIC PLAYING ], JANE ESPENSON, So I’m going to go over to there. Then I’m going to take something from you. Mr

Orange OK! I want that one NEIL GRAYSTON. Now what did you take? Ah

 

 

Jane ESPENSON Now I roll my dice NEIL GRAYSTON Four WIL WHEATON Four JAMES KYSON, Four WIL WHEATON, That’s going to give lumber to red and orange

And where’s the other four, It’s going to give clay to me, JANE ESPENSON. After all that maneuvering I have enough cards to do nothing. So my turn is done. Wil WHEATON, James you’re, up

James KYSON, All right, I roll a seven. I think we rolled like five or six sevens in a row. Jane ESPENSON, Who do you think, has the resources. You need WIL WHEATON. This is less Settlers of Catan and more the Robber of Catan

 

 

Neil GRAYSTON Yeah Yeah – this is JAMES KYSON. I know Robber after robber back to back to back NEIL GRAYSTON, Seven

James KYSON, Oh my god, Are you kidding me NEIL GRAYSTON, All right, JAMES KYSON, It’s unbelievable NEIL GRAYSTON. I will also — WIL WHEATON The year of plenty

Neil GRAYSTON — play a year of plenties [ MUSIC PLAYING ] NEIL GRAYSTON. Well, I would like a wheat WIL WHEATON, All right, NEIL GRAYSTON And because — hmm yeah, Hmm

I guess I’ll get a lumber, WIL WHEATON. You never have wood or clay NEIL GRAYSTON, Yes, Yeah, WIL WHEATON. Those are those things that are necessary in the beginning of the game.

Neil GRAYSTON And I will purchase a settlement. Wil WHEATON, The one that’s in front of you, NEIL GRAYSTON. It’S right in front of me. Yeah pass me my thing: that’s right here: OK,

I’Ll put it there, WIL WHEATON There you go, Let’s see if I cannot roll a seven

 

How about that JAMES KYSON? Let’S get some eights Wil

Wil WHEATON That would be kind of cool JAMES KYSON. Let’S get some eights or sixes WIL WHEATON And — JAMES KYSON, Eight WIL WHEATON, There’s an eight JAMES KYSON. Thank you.

Wil WHEATON, Which I rolled because you asked for it JAMES KYSON. Yes, thank you, WIL WHEATON, All right. So, let’s see That means clay for orange clay for white

And where’s the other eight JANE ESPENSON Here, WIL WHEATON And the eight means wheat for red, And I can do nothing and I have nothing to trade. So that will be the end of my turn.

 

 

Neil GRAYSTON Seven, please WIL WHEATON 10 NEIL GRAYSTON, Double sheep, JANE ESPENSON, Double sheep, JAMES KYSON, Oh boy,

Wil WHEATON Look at that. This place is lousy with sheep And a sheep for you and then the other 10 does nothing JANE ESPENSON All right. Now, I’m going to do something tricky if it’s still my turn.

Wil WHEATON, Yes, JANE ESPENSON! It’S that I have a monopoly card: [: MUSIC PLAYING, ], JANE ESPENSON, Oh but crap. What? If I name a thing that none of you have any of? Oh, no!

I may not have thought this through I’m going to say, lumber and see if anyone has any NEIL GRAYSTON, No lumber from me.

 

Jane ESPENSON, I have a strategy for winning the game today, which is, I want to win it on the bonusy things. The longest road, the biggest army, JAMES KYSON, Jane, totally, got me by surprise, because I thought it was her first time playing.

She must have been coached really well because she turned into this killer JANE ESPENSON. Now I would like to build a road WIL WHEATON, No [, MUSIC PLAYING ] JAMES KYSON, Oh my god, WIL WHEATON, 10.

Neil GRAYSTON Give me more sheep, I’m the sheep king WIL, WHEATON God, you guys are like –. What is up with your sheep, JAMES KYSON. Can I offer something to anyone to remove that robber? I can’t — WIL WHEATON I’ll, do my best to roll a seven for you again.

James KYSON, Like can I contribute to the bank WIL WHEATON. I don’t think you can. No, I don’t think you’re allowed

 

I don’t think you can do that JAMES KYSON Argh. I wanted to kill him.

When Wil put his robber on it, I was just like unbelievable. That was the one thing that I had going for me. Can I give you an ore for a wood, NEIL GRAYSTON? I do not have wood JAMES KYSON, Because ores are handy.

Jane ESPENSON Wood is tough to come by. I got the only wood on the table and turned it in

 

James KYSON OK. WIL WHEATON, Which is weird since you’re at a table full of dudes. Thank you.

Thank you, everyone, JAMES KYSON, It’s the one wood she took from me, WIL WHEATON. Thank you. Thank you. 12-Year-Olds everywhere are — seven

Neil GRAYSTON Here we go Murmur murmur murmur murmur murmur. I’M just making sounds now: WIL WHEATON, Yeah, They’re good sounds

Neil GRAYSTON, I am going to steal from you again Jane because I think you have slightly better than — aw. Of course, WIL WHEATON Did you steal a sheep, NEIL GRAYSTON? I did

 

I’M like the sheep kidnapper now I’m going to buy a development card.

Jane ESPENSON, Nice WIL WHEATON, All right here we go JAMES KYSON, Some sixes Wil Again, please WIL WHEATON, I’d kind of like an 11

James KYSON, Four WIL WHEATON, A four Wait. Wait before I’m angry about it. Does a four help me? Oh, it does

It gives me clay, OK., JANE ESPENSON. It gives me lumber, WIL WHEATON And it gives you lumber, –, JANE ESPENSON, Thank god WIL WHEATON –, and it gives you lumber.

This is the worst thing in the world for me How you doing NEIL GRAYSTON! Oh, are you going to –? Do you want to steal one of my sheep, WIL WHEATON Nope

 

Nope I want to trade you for lumber.

My strategy right now is to get the longest road and keep the longest road. I’M building a road. Neil GRAYSTON, Oh snap-a-diddly, JANE ESPENSON, You’re, putting that out of reach WIL WHEATON Yeah

Jane ESPENSON, I’m trying really hard to extend my road in both directions, But in the small chance that I don’t win, I think Wil is going to take it. Wil, WHEATON, Seven JANE ESPENSON, Seven! Where shall I put it?

It was so exciting when it was sitting over here when it was still on that JAMES KYSON. Please, please, don’t I’m hurt JANE ESPENSON. No, I think Wil is the threat. So I’m going to put it back over here.

Wil WHEATON No But — argh, JANE ESPENSON. Thank you! Wil WHEATON! Fine! There have another one of those

Jane ESPENSON, Yes, I know It’s not really what I need, But I would like to trade to get either wheat or bricks.

 

And I’m willing to offer sheep, Does anyone have wheat or bricks

You can have two sheep for either a wheat or a brick, Then my turn is over WIL WHEATON, Jane’s sort of the sheep herder in this game And that’s great in the later stages of the game, But in the early stages of the game, when you’re trying To build roads and settlements, you don’t really need sheep.

James KYSON Five WIL WHEATON, So that’s going to be ore for white and ore for orange, NEIL GRAYSTON And clay WIL WHEATON Clay for orange NEIL GRAYSTON, Five

James KYSON OK. NEIL GRAYSTON, OK, that gives me an ore. JAMES KYSON And it gives me an ore. NEIL GRAYSTON Yeah, JANE ESPENSON. So someone has to give you those things.

Neil GRAYSTON Banker, WIL WHEATON. I know I’m just thinking that if I don’t have any cards, I don’t see why you guys should get any cards either All right ore ore and clay. Neil GRAYSTON, OK,

And I will trade in four sheep for a wheat

 

[ MUSIC PLAYING ] NEIL GRAYSTON, And with that wheat I will buy a — WIL WHEATON, OK, good NEIL GRAYSTON — card WIL WHEATON, Because I was ready for you there, NEIL GRAYSTON, All right.

Meh, I’m done. I will pass this to — WIL WHEATON. I would trade you nothing for a thing. Neil GRAYSTON Really WIL WHEATON Yeah, NEIL GRAYSTON. Would you like an orange road?

Wil WHEATON, I would love an orange road.

 

Neil GRAYSTON Yeah good WIL, WHEATON Wow. Thank you, NEIL GRAYSTON. You can place it wherever you like it. Wil WHEATON! No, that’s great!

I’M going to put it right here on top of my houses, Look at that so they’re all tied together. Now That was a great trade for me, NEIL GRAYSTON. It was fantastic, Ooh,

Wil WHEATON Seven JAMES KYSON, Wow WIL WHEATON, OK, so I get him off of there.

 

And so let’s block that, so you can’t draw lumber And let’s hope that I get it from –. Ok, good

Jane ESPENSON That was terrible, WIL WHEATON All right, your turn JANE ESPENSON. Oh, I had such plans. Ah JAMES KYSON. How is this possible

Wil WHEATON, Oh crap, The most commonly rolled numbers statistically are six seven and eight Well, we’ve rolled a lot of sevens. We’Ve rolled hardly any sixes and eights JANE ESPENSON. So I’m going to move it here.

And I’m going to take one of his clays NEIL GRAYSTON. Is it a clay that you got JANE ESPENSON? No NEIL GRAYSTON Ha ha JANE ESPENSON. I can’t do anything so I am done.

James KYSON Boy: This is tough: Nine WIL WHEATON Nine JAMES KYSON, Which did –. Oh OK. It helped me one

Neil GRAYSTON There’s nothing there.

 

And does — JAMES KYSON, I get a sheep JANE ESPENSON. Give me more sheep, NEIL GRAYSTON Sheep, JANE ESPENSON Sheep, sir

Neil GRAYSTON, I think I’m doing all right so far. I don’t know what everybody has and there’s still a lot of little victory cards to be played, And I’ve got some stuff in my pocket that I’m really excited to play. Five WIL WHEATON, Five

So that’s going to be ore for white and ore for orange JAMES KYSON, Unbelievable NEIL GRAYSTON. I am going to move my knight WIL WHEATON Ooh, all right. I was going to put it on that because I want to steal your one card that you have

Wil WHEATON, You are a terrible person. Neil GRAYSTON, I am the most awful person. Wil WHEATON, You are a horrible horrible horrible person, NEIL GRAYSTON, I’m a horrible person who builds a road and then builds another road. Well, actually, two more roads.

Jane ESPENSON, Two more roads, WIL WHEATON, Plays two new roads, as if you had just built them. Oh, you, filthy, filthy, swine, head

 

Neil GRAYSTON Did you see what I did WIL WHEATON? Oh my god,

I helped you get that NEIL GRAYSTON Ha ha thanks: [ MUSIC PLAYING ] NEIL GRAYSTON, Four WIL WHEATON. Four, That’s going to give lumber to the two people. I don’t want to have it

And it’s going to give me clay. Go ahead, NEIL GRAYSTON, Eight WIL WHEATON, Eight. We finally rolled an eight

Jane ESPENSON, So I get some wheat WIL WHEATON, So you get some wheat And let’s see you both get clay. James KYSON, All right, A seven

Jane ESPENSON Ooh JAMES KYSON, Well, Neil you are in the lead, so I think that has to be accounted for.

 

So all right here we go NEIL GRAYSTON, All right. Seven

Wil WHEATON Really JAMES KYSON, Unbelievable NEIL GRAYSTON, OK., [, MUSIC PLAYING ] WIL WHEATON, I’d like to say goodnight to everyone who decided to play the drinking game at home where a seven is rolled and they take a drink. I hope that you drank a lot of water earlier in the day and that you have a miserable morning.

Neil GRAYSTON Hey. Would anyone like a clay for a wheat, JANE ESPENSON? Yes, I will give you a wheat. If you give me a clay, NEIL GRAYSTON Here you go All right.

 

I will build a road

Wil WHEATON You son of a bitch Hello, longest road to Grayston, NEIL GRAYSTON Bajong. I will also buy me a development card WIL WHEATON. So Neil is like Captain Development, which is really smart because he’s not getting cards that he can use to build more roads and upgrade his settlements into cities.

But he’s getting cards that he can use to turn into development cards. We know that he’s 2/3 of the way to largest army, and that is a lot of points. Neil GRAYSTON Yeah. Ok, I’m going to do this.

 

Wil WHEATON, You are upgrading to a city, it looks like

Neil GRAYSTON, Yes, I am WIL WHEATON. What’S the name of your city, NEIL GRAYSTON, Graystonville, WIL, WHEATON Graystonville, I forgot to ask you Jane: what’s the name of your city,

Jane ESPENSON Espensonitis; No wait! No! That’S a disease! Wil WHEATON! It’S inflammation of the Espenson JANE ESPENSON! Yes,

Wil WHEATON Largest army, [ MUSIC PLAYING ] JAMES KYSON. Wait! So are you moving the robber NEIL GRAYSTON? Oh yeah? I am JAMES KYSON. Oh my god! Please don’t put it there.

Wil WHEATON, Oh no JAMES KYSON, If you’re going to put it just put it over here, NEIL GRAYSTON. Well, then I’m blocking myself JAMES KYSON! How about this? If you don’t put it on me I’ll, just give you an ore.

 

 

Neil GRAYSTON, Oh that’s an interesting tactic: WIL WHEATON! That is an excellent –. Look at the James gambit JAMES KYSON. That’S beneficial for both people, NEIL GRAYSTON Yeah I’ll. Do that I’ll put it in the desert?

James KYSON Wow WIL WHEATON Nice, JANE ESPENSON Outside the box Outside the hexagon WIL WHEATON. Look at that

James KYSON Doesn’t slow the game down: WIL WHEATON You’re, a good person James JAMES KYSON, I’m trying to be man Just roll, some sixes bro, All right.

Wil WHEATON, What have I in my hand you say JAMES KYSON. Thank you. Wil WIL, WHEATON, There’s your six. Here’S double wood for you double ore. For me, I sure would like wheat,

Can anybody help me with wheat? Is there wheat happening in this game right now, JAMES KYSON, I think everyone’s looking for wheat

 

Neil GRAYSTON Still gluten free, WIL, WHEATON Yeah, all right.

So Jane you’re up Eight JAMES KYSON, Eight JANE ESPENSON. I get a whole bunch of wheats WIL WHEATON, Eight

Neil GRAYSTON Clay, WIL, WHEATON, Wow, there’s double wheat and single wheat, NEIL GRAYSTON And I get a clay, WIL WHEATON You each get a clay, Clay and clay.

There you go JANE ESPENSON. Is anyone going to give me a sheep for a wheat? I give you a wheat, you give me a sheep, WIL WHEATON Wheat is useless to me without sheep Wait. Is it

Not necessarily

 

Ok. JANE ESPENSON, Thank you. Then I will buy a development card And that completes my turn.

Wil WHEATON Eight, So that’s clay, JANE ESPENSON I’ll, take some more wheat, NEIL GRAYSTON Clay, WIL, WHEATON And clay

Jane ESPENSON, Three more wheat, WIL WHEATON Jeez JAMES KYSON. Actually you have a lot of wheat right. Would you like another clay, JANE ESPENSON, I’d like a brick — or I’d like a log for a wheat

Wil WHEATON, Not my turn. I can’t trade JAMES KYSON, Ah boy, All right. I will give you a log for a wheat WIL WHEATON, Oh, that son of a — crap

Neil GRAYSTON, The robber. There is nothing there, because whatever JAMES KYSON, Oh wait a minute, Did you win WIL WHEATON? I think he just won.

I think Grayston won the game. Neil GRAYSTON I’m going to build another road just because – And oh my god, watching all that was making me so frustrated because there we go. There’S a palace There’s my extra victory point:

Wil WHEATON, Oh JAMES KYSON, Neil, was kind of like this low-key, smiling nice guy

 

But just kind of started collecting assets turn after turn And the next thing you know he had eight points nine points and then he won Totally did not see it coming.

Wil WHEATON, Congratulations! Neil Grayston! You are the official settler of Catan, JANE ESPENSON, Very nice, WIL WHEATON, So Jane and James we’re going to go over to the very comfortable couch of defeat, We’re going to have a seat there and we’re going to nurse our wounds.

And Neil I’ll see you downstairs in front of the wall of victory: NEIL GRAYSTON, Yes, JAMES, KYSON, Wil, WIL, WHEATON! Well, guys we did our best, But Neil’s best was better than our best.

However, I don’t think we lost this game on our own. We had help from someone who belongs in this lounge of defeat with us That guy JAMES KYSON, Yes JANE ESPENSON There. It is

Wil WHEATON You’re a dick JAMES KYSON. There should be a fire where we go and see him in flames. Wil WHEATON, Yeah, good idea Post give us a fire Nice good work.

I’M going to go downstairs and pretend to be happy for Neil

 

James KYSON, All right, I’m just going to hang out here on the consolation, couch, JANE ESPENSON, We’re going to hang out here with the dick WIL WHEATON. So life imitates art,

Just as Fargo beat Parrish to go to Titan, so does Neil beat me to win the official Table Top Trophy of Awesome for being the winner of Settlers of Catan, NEIL GRAYSTON, The coveted trophy WIL WHEATON. Yes, Now I’m just going to write your name on it. Neil GRAYSTON, OK,

Wil WHEATON, So that everyone knows it’s yours, NEIL GRAYSTON, All right, WIL WHEATON! So there you go

 

Please feel free to make a speech NEIL GRAYSTON. Well, I got to say it was a hard run, but I really hunkered down

I think I got the right cards and I played my cards right And we got through the barren wheatless little bit of it. Wil WHEATON Those were awful days, the wheatless days, NEIL GRAYSTON Yeah, And then the surfeit — is that the right word — of sheep

We just had too many sheep WIL, WHEATON Yeah, NEIL GRAYSTON. I guess the point is I always get the — buy the cards. Wil WHEATON! Congratulations! Neil GRAYSTON! Thank you! Wil

Wil WHEATON Now I actually have to take the trophy back now, because we can’t afford more than one NEIL GRAYSTON, Oh WIL, WHEATON, But here Guess what You get to keep the tape with your name on it.

Neil GRAYSTON, The tape – Oh awesome, WIL WHEATON, So that all day long, everyone knows that you are Neil and you are a star

 

Neil GRAYSTON, I am the true Settler of Catan WIL WHEATON. We will see you next time right here on Table Top

 

 

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