Takenoko: Harley Morenstein, Rosanna Pansino, and Drew Roy join Wil on TableTop

Once upon a time, the Emperor of China gave the Emperor of Japan a giant panda as a gift, the two Emperor’s exchanged high-fives, which was the custom at the time, and an era of unprecedented peace and prosperity, began between the two nations. The Japanese Emperor eager to show off his rare and beautiful gift set the panda loose in his Royal Gardens. That’S where the trouble started, because the only thing a giant panda loves more than solving complex differential equations is eating bamboo much to the chagrin of the Emperor’s royal gardener. Today, on tabletop Harley Morenstein Rosanna pansino drew Roy and I will be the Panda, the gardener and even the Emperor himself as we tend gardens and plant and eat bamboo or, as it’s called in Japanese takenoko. Takenoko is a beautiful, Japanese, themed action point game designed by Antoine buuza, who also gave the world seven wonders and Tokaido.

Remember that adorable little panda I was just talking about here. He is hello Panda. How will we I love you Panda? I love you too will Wheaton, I’m so happy. We finally get to play a game together and I’m delighted that you’re here panda.

Let me tell you some of my deep dark secrets. The Panda is roaming around these imperial gardens trying to eat all the delicious bamboo. That’S growing there that makes this gardener very unhappy. I am a gardener and all I want to do is grow bamboo, but gardener. You should be able to find some happiness in life.

I am NOT about being happy, I’m about growing bamboo. This sets up the three different ways to score points in the game. The gardener wants to grow certain types of bamboo in the gardens, for example, two stalks of pink bamboo three units high, but the Panda wants to eat all of that bamboo. For example, two pieces of pink bamboo, so you can see they kind of oppose each other, but everyone wants the Emperor to be happy. The Emperor wants to build the gardens in certain patterns.

This time the Emperor wants to have three yellow tiles in a triangle. Normally, players will start by rolling this weathered eye. The weathered eye gives helpful bonuses which we will cover in the game as they come up, then you can do two of the five following actions. They can draw tiles to build the garden key to the Emperor strategy. They can get irrigation which I’ll explain in a moment.

They can use the gardener to grow bamboo, they can use the Panda to eat bamboo or they can draw new victory cards like in a real garden. The key to winning is proper. Irrigation tiles will only score when they are facing these water, markers and bamboo only grows on irrigated tiles, so the player who controls the water can control the game. When a card is completed, you will reveal it and earn the corresponding victory points. When a player has seven cards revealed the game ends and the player with the most points wins when we have a fat and happy panda.

Well, we have a gardener who finally learns how to love himself. Will the Emperor get out of China and come to Japan? I don’t know that, don’t ask me questions, I’m just here to play a game and that game is takenoko. My name is Harley Morenstein. I used to be a substitute teacher.

Now I wrap things and bacon and get drunk on the internet and Epic Meal Time comm. Well, hello, my name is drew Roy, I’m currently on a show called falling skies. I play how Mason but uh, if you’re a little younger, you might know me from Hannah Montana or iCarly. My name is Rosanna pansino and I have a key key baking show on YouTube called nerdy nummies. This is my favorite game that I am playing this year.

It’S takenoko and before the cameras rolled we determined who will go first, normally in takenoko, it’s the tallest player, but I don’t really like that. So we randomized these little tiles. I handed them to Rowe to draw to see who will go first and strangely, Roe will be our first player. So what would you like to do miss roe? I would like to draw card all right, which card?

Would you like hey and Dad one Panda card there you go? Thank you. You’Re welcome and I’m gon na take a look at these yep cuz. I got ta see it. I’M working with my opening hand is pretty good.

Few of my cards are a little bit higher point system, so I’m hoping that I actually accomplish those, but I want more pandas, I’m going to draw three tiles yeah all right here you go so you’ll draw two and uh you’ll see save one okay and just There yeah, okay, great Mitchell, that’s gon na grow some green bamboo, which we all have very much Harley you’re up. Okay, well, my opening hand is interesting. I say interesting because I don’t know if it’s good or bad. I don’t really know the game that well. My first move is: I’m gon na move that panda yep yeah you’re already eating things.

It’S a little on the nose. Don’T you think? Well, that’s me. That’S my brand yeah okay, I’m gon na eat that yeah all right go ahead. Eat it take it.

So Harley is eating my bamboo that I just planted, I’m like hey, I did all the cooking he’s doing all the eating. Let me look at these cards again. I’M don’t fully understand the game as much as I’d like to interesting all right, I’m going to bring balance to the world by moving along I’m gon na move the gardener over here and you’re, going to regrow bamboo there all right, very good. Okay. For my first action, I will draw tiles much more confident player over here.

Here’S a plan, obviously we’re going to grow a little piece of pink bamboo right there and for my second action I will now panda to the pink bamboo yay and I will eat it because pandas like delicious, pink bamboo, they do their favorite kind, yeah good boy, Yeah, you eat all the people who don’t eat it all up. Oh chocolate, pant! Oh you wore it’s your turn all right. Okay, so the opening Hannah feel pretty good. I don’t have anything that’s too difficult and with the way that the pieces are coming around, especially being the last guy to go.

It’S looking like it’s gon na shape up pretty good, get some tiles here. Tiles coming up there, you guys, okay, okay, go right! There! All right, yeah, that’s gon na grow, a yellow, bamboo, okay and just delicious. That’S bamboo, that’s been deep-fried makes it even more appealing, so you definitely need to go eat that panda.

Well, then, who’s gon na eat that bamboo all right. The opening strategies, it just kind of seemed, like you, had to move the Panda to be in the club. So I did and I was in the club – and I was good and now as we enter the second round of the game, will start rolling. The weather die so go ahead. Row fire fire fire.

Please give me fire, so you rolled a wild card. So now you can do a bonus action because that’s what you chose. So what will your bonus action be? Oh, I want to grow, grow, pink, pink, pink, bamboos coming up. What are yours?

What is your second action and pans? Are gon na panic eat the pink Lily? Okay draw card, one of these cards, yeah sure, which one would you like panda? Oh boy, you’re in loving of you today, okay, I play talking oak, oh so much that if I wanted to be a superpower game, I could probably kill in this one. It’S way more important to me that everybody has fun, because now I have an opportunity to put three more talking: Naoko gamers into the world, and that is my ultimate goal with tabletop: okay, oh wow!

That is really I just wait. You got teleporting Panda yeah. You can meet a panda anywhere. I can move that panda wherever I want yeah and wherever he goes he’s gon na eat something. Yes, the lightning scares the Panda and lets it go anywhere else on the board, I like to think of it as the Panda using the transporter to move to a different square.

So basically he’s gon na eat green bamboo or he’s not gon na eat it all. When, actually, he has this hand? Okay, there you go he’s so busy he’s eaten every turn. I love the fact that the pan date everything because that was like the running joke. Like I said to be in that Club, you had to make him eat until we depleted everything.

Okay, this um I’ve completed this yep gratulations yep. You got three much okay. Now he’s going to release these from his body yep, he will now yeah, that’s right. So, what’s your first actually gon na be, let me consult my cards. My strategy is to just get a better score than will nothing else.

Matters, let’s get some land. Okay, I could put these down. You can put one down the only place you cannot play on the board. Right now is off of this, because the tile has to touch a facing irrigation or it has I put in there. You can’t put it there, but nothing will happen on that tile.

Right now, because that tile is not irrigated, unless it has a little water guy on well, I use something. Well, maybe it is irrigated right for my second action, I will draw a card which one would you like hand. A card panda cards are very popular today. Yeah, oh, I get a bonus thing. Hmm, I am going to go to weather and I’m going to take fertilizer and for my first action as a free action.

I’M going to fertilizer this guy over here because there’s nothing growing on it. So I can flex reaction. Yep, taking off of there is a free action now for my second action, I’m going to move the gardener over here and because this is fertilized that will grow to bamboos, you devil and for my third and final action, I’m going to draw tiles. Don’T don’t not not not not what I wanted so let’s go ahead and put this here. Okay and that will also grow a green because it is irrigated and everybody should know it.

We really can’t. I can’t have it guys guys it wouldn’t. Have this don’t touch my baboo students? That’S another YouTube show yeah the whole other channel yeah. I read on Brandis good 20 to 40 pounds of bamboo well he’s well on his way.

I read it screw. I read online that patent is a twenty to forty pounds of bamboo, because they’re actually built like carnivores and they’re eating bamboo. That’S true! You read that you read the same size either yeah we buy handle on that note. Let’S see what the weather is all right.

You know wild card what’ll it be I’m gon na go with the the fire. I would like to go with some land huh. That’S gon na grow a pink bamboo which is lovely yeah. Okay. I would also like a little water.

This way. Okay, that panda you just look into hungry. We got yeah he’s got to eat that green up there and over there. Okay, all right twenty forty pounds on the way up on the way: hmm go ahead and roll your die row and see what happens. I’M gon na move panda pink Panda moves three bellies half way: full and natural he’s gon na poop these out, yep Panda.

I’Ve named him in my head punchy, which means poop in Japanese cuz. He eats a lot in the poop small out classic can discard okay. Okay, all right, let’s race, us to green bamboo that you get five points. Then I got three but that’s because pink bamboo is more rare in the game, and that also – and it also tastes better pink bamboo is probably the tastiest. Bamboo panda loves that color.

They say pink, bamboo is the tastiest, but I hear a green bamboo feels the best inside you, gardener, pink.this, pink, okay and that’s gon na grit. Now the gardener’s gon na grow on both pink tiles, cuz they’re, both irrigated okay. I will draw one more card: I’m just gon na be a panda card. You know you want to patent a card, don’t do what was the peer pressure?

You fail to it. There you go okay wearing panda. Colors definitely gives me advantage. I also look like a referee, so I feel, like this looks pretty intimidating more bamboo. That will be a wild weather.

I can do whatever I want. You can take any of the six weather actions lightning. Okay, just this guy’s scared. It’S alright, zero! Okay, eight dad!

Now uh-huh yep take it. I want to draw LAN cards. Okay, there you go. Thank you you’re welcome. I want to put this LAN card over here.

Alright, oh, this is an action. I get a blue stick yet you can take irrigation for an action. If you want do I get to play it, you can immediately you can. I have a question. Alright, if that’s irrigated, I can’t irrigate from that.

That is correct. You have to irrigate off of an existing blue thing. So if you’re trying to get irrigation out to this tile, you either want to run it this way and then go that way like that or you want to go this way and go that way like that. If let me give you a piece of strategy, okay, lover, if you’re, if you’re trend, if you’re trying to make this shape – and you want it irrigated – and you put it here – and you irrigate there – then you’re on this job – it’s like playing board games as your Job sort of right yeah, I’m asking a lot of questions one, because I want to distract him and two, because I want to extract information from his brain Harley. Listen to will he’s helping you out and he’s helping me out.

He doesn’t even know it. So, if that’s what you’re trying to do, you can put it there and score this turn if you’re not trying to do that, I am trying to do that. Okay, I would prefer not to take that handicap. I think I failed my task and you schooled me and now the next time I play with my friends, I will know what to do. Oh really, that was.

That was a really you know. Okay, I picture the man move that he did that hey. I got a man up and do my thing well, having Harley not take the advice, didn’t do me any favors. I applaud him for not taking the advice, but did not help me at all, and my gardener is really happy because he really wanted to grow four bamboos. So my panda has a X, electic taste.

He likes the appetizer. He likes the main course. He keeps a nice even palette. I keep drawing panda cards because that is my only strategy. I just am gon na try to eat this entire game.

It eat, eat, eat, eat, I’m done on table all day. What’S will make the Emperor very happy, so I get four points at this point in the game I didn’t realize there was an emperor that we were making happy. I thought we were just feeding the Panda, I’m an idiot. Oh I’ve completed something uh-huh. Congratulations!

Thank you very much, yep good good work. I think Carly knows a lot more than he’s leading on. You can’t always trust a guy with the big beard, they’re hiding secrets in there here we go wind is going to. Let me do the same thing two times. If I want to I just rolled wind, this is great: I’m going to get to garden twice and turn in a card, so the gardener is going to grow here once and then this grows once so.

That goes two times like that. Okay, then I’m going to go ahead and that was great. Then I’m gon na come here and I’m going to garden again, which means that this grows like that and this grows here and then this one would grow too. But it’s at maximum height now right, which is four so that lets me complete a card so that puts that gardener up there right because he needed to grow four tall bamboo on a thing with fertilizer, which he did the gardener’s really happy. And that’s the end of my turn.

You already got three cards done. Only have one Drew’s done well. Actually, yet can I go ahead and pretty good Bailey yeah down now I don’t get to replace it. I have to use a term that is correct. Yes, let me go ahead, and so we have here it’s gon na rain, someplace.

Okay, so that makes things grow. That’S great yeah make it rain yeah. Where are you all right? We gon na make it a shower right here. All right.

I got a few dollar bills: okay, yeah you’re, gon na drop hand a card yeah. I need a panda all right there. You go all right: hmm, okay, so we’re gon na come right here, huh little nibble yep thank drew. Do you have a two panda? I saw this coming bub mailed it all right there you go cool guy and now I have K um, and that was that yeah yeah.

I was getting again all right, ro you’re up. Where would you like to lightning the Panda to misro? So I’m feeling a little left out because I’m the only one at the table who doesn’t have a beard so while all the magic is going on, I’m trying to grow my own like so and stroking it. But it’s still not working. I’M just gon na scare panda right next door.

Here, oh yeah, here, the okay, we’re just gon na eat, one of those excellent okay. So that’s my scared, okay, yep and then I got three. You have rainbow Panda Jambu extravaganza of congratulations, gardener, uh-huh, pink, the furthest, one okay and that’s going to grow on all of these pink tiles. Cuz they’re, all irrigated here – and here and here – can I draw a plot of land sure stack. So you got I’m gon na go with this one cuz he’s already water, so he can alright, so more BAM.

You’Re really, with this whole growing bamboo situation, dumb, ok, great! Alright! Here we go. Hmm, I I will in hedging you section the power of water. Of course you will there you go.

I will place this water uh-huh over here yep. All right, I will execute um. This card is that you know I felt pretty good for Harley when he threw down the nice little land card. It didn’t really seem like he knew how the game worked. So I’m happy for him.

Let’S see, you’ve got those two there and those two there and everything is happy and irrigated and you get five points. I will execute this bird wow, that’s good. Maybe he knows a little something or it’s luck, but not worried and that’s gon na give you another three points. That’S amazing: ok, execute this charge and you’re gon na do that which is another three point: uh we just got schooled and I feel like that was something that you never see happen before, I’m quite worried. Now it was just lucky cards, yellow, yellow and yellow all plots of land all irrigated it was.

I mean it is amazing. It is so statistically unlikely that hardly makes that play. There are six yellow cards in the deck he drew three of them and then played all of them on the same turn, and at that point I don’t care what happens now, I’m out of here Wow early. That’S amazing! Why?

Oh, thank you, you make me feel really good about it. I didn’t even know this game. Yes, dude, that’s great! Oh the pressure on everybody else in this game just went through the roof. Great turn man up.

So what we have learned now is that Harley is a witch. I don’t believe anyone has a chance to catch up. To me, however, will knows the game far better than I do. Maybe there’s some power cards near that I don’t know about who knows. Maybe at this point of the game, someone becomes a Cylon, I’m not sure he’s still yeah, I’m gon na move them.

I need that one yeah yeah he’s gon na see that out all right irrigate this Joe right way to go yet you guys both have 18. I’M gon na take this Gardner. So yes, that’s right Harley! You score Chomp Chomp, Chomp, Chomp Chomp! The Panda is gon na.

Do that and now he’s gon na score. His happy panda points. I will make this guy yellow boom boom boom. Five points: delicious: hey, hey, come here and make the gardener grow, which lets me score. That Harley has now made it if he scores one more card if he puts out one more card and the games gon na end.

So we might just want to think about somehow figuring out a way to mess with him. I think Harley might be keeping cards in his beard. I had to check. I felt him Rhian in there to see if I felt anything, but he had already played him by then this is a horrible yeah hard to grow. I can’t do this one.

It’S not gon na work, so I’m gon na have to choose a card. Do I stay true to my panda yeah yeah? Yeah? Hmm! Oh, you got three points again.

Huh no comment: where’s the Panda gon na go um. Come to this tall before me, yeah one of those all right, and now it’s Harley’s turn not enough damage. All right come on. You’Re gon na make the Panda super panda. Some we’re done with the Lightning yeah there you can Lightning it do.

You guys make skitter noises on the set of falling skies ever. Oh, yes, like yeah, you know, Greg demon yeah right hand, make it to a day without making not only ass get annoyed yeah, but all the laser noises uh. He prides himself on you, give him any any animal and it will make a noise. So I didn’t know much about the game coming in I’m about to win. I think I was underestimated and they’re getting bamboozled iry who what I was destined.

Yeah you’re gon na go there they’re doing that uh-huh here it is here, yep yep, alright, so we’ll finish off this turn, we’ll finish off your turn. Then everybody else gets a second turn. You get two bonus points from the Emperor or come for doing samba. First right, yet the Emperor is very happy for you. I’M gon na move this guy yep over here uh-huh and that’s going to grow some more bamboozles, and that will give me this.

Are you serious? Well, I guess we’re gon na we’re gon na we’re gon na play this out. For the sake of I got ta change. Yes, sir! Is there a comeback from this?

This is essentially the equivalent of Wil Wheaton coming on to Epic Meal Time and out drinking me and out eating me. That’S what’s going on right now, I feel a little bad first thing I’ll do I guess just draw a card. I don’t get. What’S I’m having a really hard time figuring out which card I’m going to draw the pandas out? I’M not gon na complete a panda card, there’s more points available on an emperor card, but I think the gardener card is the more likely one that I’m gon na finish.

So the safe-ish move is to take a gardener card and hope I get lucky. Okay. Yes, I’m going to bring the gardener which is going to make him grow here. Okay and I’m actually gon na, get to score more points that don’t matter because this is a four tall yellow on a on a naked tile, which I just got and that’s the end of my turn so drew it’s your move, sir. Oh first of all, I wanted to start off.

Oh, are you gon na score? Some points that nice all right, let’s five more for you right there mm-hmm. I think this is my. I just pulled out pretty much the best card I can pull out granted. We only have eight points that you can jump at any time, so I’m gon na take the lead, I’m coming in second place or make things I mean.

Okay, so that’s the card. I was trying to draw okay, that’s a lot of points that felt good. That just gave us a price. That’S the highest scoring card in the go: okay, yeah, I’m gon na win yeah, but they don’t bail. We do that’s great yeah.

That’S a good pull! Nice! Yeah, Oh yep, so you were very excited about that. We were all excited for you. Then producer Boyan pointed out that this is three tall yeah, not four tall.

None of us saw it. I was so excited for Drew to score all those points, even though it wasn’t going to change the outcome of the game that I just forgot that the four green is three tall and the four greens were four tall. Sorry man really you’re gon na take my eight points from me. That was my manhood of this game. I hadn’t done anything spectacular.

That was my moment. It was in the clutch, and now you gon na, beat me okay, okay, so if you’re watching at home, three is one less than four that’s correct, also if you’re watching at home, if you don’t have a referee, you’d have gotten away with that and we totally What it goes like, oh yeah, there’s not free parking in Carcassonne; no, actually there is, and I could $ 500 from each of you uh-oh. What are you gon na? Do I’m gon na stick with my fire. Okay, tell me what you is actually gon na be um.

First move is I’m gon na move panda to green and it goes to green yeah eat that one Wow last meal of the day. He killed him over yeah, okay, so I’m just going to get risky with it. Yeah I’m going to take a blue card. Oh now, I’m going to draw. I have no other options.

It’S my last move, I’m just hoping that I get a pink card. Oh come on come on, Oh what oh, this is the rebel round. Oh, let’s go ahead and total up our scores. I think we’re gon na. Do you last okay?

I guess now we’re gon na count the cards to find out by how many points Harley won. I’Ve got 10 20 27 points. Okay drew that’s tough, you drew you have 23. Okay, 23 points all right Roe. You have 24 points.

I want a rematch, but before I do, I’m gon na grow a beard so that it will even the playing field. Then it’s game on now. I need to go, get my slide rule and also my big blue container, to count up all Harley’s points. We have a discus anyway. There you’ve got that’s abacus, smart, oK, you’ve got one ten, twenty thirty nine freaking points.

Wow Harley! You are today’s takenoko tabletop champion and congratulate thank you so much I was hoping we could all be friends, but I’m sure you’d want to be friends now pretty much made that impossible after I’ve ruined you yeah at this quarry friends with you, because I think your Beard is magic, it is apparently it is magic. Well guys welcome to the losers couch or, as I call it home base you know. Unfortunately, one person can actually win on tabletop, but you’re making me sad with your sad face. It’S a sad panda face here.

Let me help your sad panda face feel better. I want you to take home this little panda. Okay, because you were so in love with it and drew. I got you some decorative bamboo. I’Ve been wanting also room dividers right, so there you have that so I’m gon na go downstairs and I’m gon na go ahead and give Harley his winning prize, but you guys hang out in losers, couch and enjoy your prizes and sincerely.

Thank you very much for coming to play on my show, of course, Thank You Harley after your epic three card turn, I have to say, I’d be astounded if we were not standing here together right now for someone who doesn’t have a lot of experience playing this Game, like you owned this game, you are a natural gamer, so listen last season on tabletop every time somebody won we would get. Let them hold this incredibly gorgeous expensive, trophy that we blew our budget on. Then we had to take it back. So only on one trophy I didn’t know but want you to have something to keep this year, so I’ve spent an equivalent amount of my budget on these tabletop certificates of Awesome. So you get to have this tabletop certificate that certifies that you’re a tabletop champion.

Now I’m just gon na sign it for you, so that it is official and now I will seal it so that it is in fact notarized ready all right here you go a little loose a little you. I’Ve made your beard Amish um. You know uh yeah. So go ahead and make a victory speech because you’ve earned it well. Actually I want.

First of all I want to thank you for this because I couldn’t have sold a trophy on eBay, but heck your signature will go really well. Go subscribe to Epic Meal Time. Wil Wheaton is now my buddy, because I beat him at his own game and any other things. I’M supposed to say that. Oh look, you don’t cook, I do know how to grease on the cooking sense.

We’Re gon na be real time, and if you watch every Friday on youtube.com slash a big meal time, we teach people how to cook with really incredible recipes. Anything else you want to sell. I earned this earn this ok takenoko skills thanks a lot for watching tabletop. We will see you back here next time, but until then play more games.

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